Rememories
by fanofrandy
Summary: John Gage is wrestling with something pretty bad. With the help of some close friends, he tries to make some new "rememories." Set after John and Roy became Captains.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Rememories

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

Summary: John Gage is wrestling with something pretty bad. With the help of some close friends, he tries to make some new "rememories." Set after John and Roy became Captains.

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He hung up the phone after making the fourth call that day to Rampart. As he sat on the couch and stared at the blank television, he could barely remember waking up that morning. He was dressed in blue jeans, a plaid flannel work shirt with a t-shirt underneath, and sneakers. His eyes were sunken with large black circles underneath; a testament to the fact he had not been sleeping well. And, his frame was minus about ten pounds. He looked like a scarecrow that had been put out in the field and picked clean by the birds.

It had been ten days since the horrible event that brought him to where he was now. Ten days that consisted of a hospital stay; two funerals; a review board hearing; and, a stay at the DeSoto's home. As he put his head in his hands and let the silent tears fall, which he only did when he was alone, he murmured aloud, "How can I do this, God…how can I make it through this one."

With that, John Gage stood and walked to the room that had become his over the years; the guest room of the DeSoto home. He began to pack his bag and wonder if he would ever be able to return to the job he loved so much.

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Roy was on duty at his Station. After a year on the job, he still had a hard time believing that HE was the Captain. Captain DeSoto sat in his office wishing he knew how to console his Friend, Captain John Gage. Everyone was asking about Johnny…how he was healing…if he was finally sleeping through the night…when he was going to return. The problem was, Roy did not know the answers to the questions they were asking.

He heard a knock on the doorframe of his office and looked up to see a familiar face. "Well, if it isn't Chief Stanley," Roy smiled broadly, knowing the reason for the visit, but asking anyway. "To what do I owe the honor of this visit?" He asked his Friend and superior. Any other time, Roy would have snapped to attention upon the arrival of the Chief.

The older man took his cover off and regarded the man before him. Memories of the "old days" at Station 51 roared in his head. He offered a hand that Roy accepted and the two men moved toward the chairs. "Have a seat, Pal." Chief Stanley said as he closed the door. There was no need for pomp and circumstance, this visit was about Family. Roy's concern grew with this motion since the door was rarely closed unless there was something terribly wrong.

The Chief sat in his chair and leaned back with a sigh. He thought to himself that Roy looked like he hadn't been sleeping very well either. "So, Roy…how is Johnny coming along?" He finally asked.

Roy took a deep breath and tried to decide how to answer that question. He knew that there had been a Review Board Hearing the day before, but was not privy to the outcome. He could answer honestly, but that could jeopardize Johnny's chances of returning to his station; or, he could just give the rote answer he'd been using for the last three shifts. He chose the latter, "He's getting better every day, Cap…uh, Chief." Roy corrected quickly. But, his former Captain wasn't buying what Roy was trying to sell.

"C'mon, Pal…this is me you're talkin' to. Brackett tells me he calls the hospital at least 10 times a day…tell me the truth. Hell, he'd probably camp out in the ICU if Brackett hadn't told him to stay away for now. " Hank asked again, with sternness in his voice. "I saw him at the funerals. He looked like a zombie. And, he acted like one, too. He barely talked to anyone, and just grunted answers when asked how he was doing. Now, you wanna tell me the truth?" Roy lowered his head. He did not want to betray his friend, but he did not like lying to his superior either.

"Truth?…he's not doin' so good. I knew going to the funerals would be hard on 'im…but, I also thought it might bring 'im some closure. He's not been sleeping. He doesn't eat half the time. It's like he died too…but, it is just happening slowly, not all at once like the others." Roy fought the emotion that threatened and cleared his throat against the tears.

Hank nodded his understanding. "Losing a man is hard on any Captain, Roy." He paused as he cleared his throat, too. They both looked at one another as they remembered the horrible day they lost one of their own when Chet Kelly had been killed in the line of duty at Station 51. "I guess it's not something you ever get used to…or get over. But, Johnny always seems to internalize these things and let them eat him alive. Why does he do that?" Hank wondered aloud. Both men shook their heads at the wonder that was John Gage.

"I don't know, Chief. But, he goes in tomorrow to see Brackett. He thinks he's gonna be released to return to duty…but, I doubt that will happen. He's skinny…I mean thinner than I have ever seen 'im. He is just wasting away and there doesn't seem to be a damn thing we can do about it." Roy admitted.

"Well, maybe I will try to talk to him…former Captain to Captain. I could offer some words of comfort. He avoided me at the funerals. Probably because he was unsure about the review hearing." Hank concluded. "We just have to be patient, I guess, and wait for Johnny to work through this. He seems to always land on his feet. Maybe this time will be no different." His words were more of a prayer than a statement. He stood, and Roy did too. He patted Roy on the back as they walked toward the door. "And, uh…Pal…when it's just you and me, you can call me Hank, you know." The Chief smiled as he opened the door and made his way back to Headquarters. Both held hope that Johnny WOULD indeed, be okay.

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The DeSoto house was quiet as Johnny sat on the side of the bed. His duffel was packed at his feet. He sat down once he finished packing and did not realize how long he had been sitting until he heard the door. He glanced at the clock by the bedside and saw that it was nearly 4:00pm. The sounds he heard were JoAnne returning from picking up the children up from school. He sighed deeply as he realized he had been sitting there…just sitting…for over three hours.

The next thing he realized was the sound of feet running down the hall toward his door. He braced himself for the onslaught of frenzied conversation from Chris and Jenny. He was only slightly disappointed when the footsteps continued on past. He heard two other doors in the house open and close. He closed his eyes…thankful that the children did not come into his room, for he was not in the mood to pretend he was feeling on top of the world.

He picked up the phone and dialed the same number he had been for a week now…the ICU department at Rampart General Hospital. The phone rang twice, "Nurse Jennings, ICU." Came a sweet voice to his waiting ears. If he had been well, or in a better state of mind, he may have considered asking her out. But, there was more important business.

"This is Captain Gage. I'm calling to check on the condition of my man…uh…Greg Daniels. Can you let me know how he's doing?" The nurse sighed. She had taken many of these calls from John Gage over the past seven days and the news was never any different.

"I'm afraid there's been no change, Captain Gage." She felt sorry for the man behind the calls. He seemed haunted and very sad.

"Okay. I will check back later. Thank you." He hung up the phone and dropped his head into his hands once more.

He heard a gentle knock at the door. He wiped the hot tears that formed and gave a weak, "Come in."

JoAnne opened the door just enough to peek her head in and offered, "Johnny, I told the kids to go on to their rooms 'cuz I thought you might be resting. I just wanted to check and see if you needed anything." JoAnne frowned a bit as she noticed that her Friend was looking quite ill and weak. Johnny shook his head.

"No, I don't need anything. 'M fine." He replied in a monotonous, far-away voice. It was then that she noticed the duffel on the floor.

"Johnny…why is your bag packed?" She asked as she fully entered the room. He glanced down, almost forgetting that he had packed it earlier in the day and that he had planned to return to his ranch today.

"Oh, I thought I would go ahead and go back to my place. I've been here a week now…don't want to overstay my welcome, you know. 'Sides, Abby's still nursing her pups and I bet Cimmeron and Osceola are wonderin' what happened to me." Johnny droned.

JoAnne approached the bed and picked up the duffel. "Oh, no you don't mister. You are not going anywhere. Mr. Bailey is taking care of your place, Abby and the horses are fine. You don't have anything to worry about. You have a check-up with Dr. Brackett in the morning and, if he says you can go home, then you can go home. But, for now, you are staying right here with us. And, you could NEVER wear out your welcome here, Johnny. We love you and care about you. The kids adore you and are so excited having you here this past week." She lied, but only a little. The only part that was a lie was about the kids. They were excited their Uncle Johnny was staying with them, but they were more worried and cautious than they let on to him.

"'M sorry, Jo. I just don't seem to be able to do much right these days." Johnny mumbled out. He was exhausted and it showed.

"Johnny…" Jo started to chastise her Friend for his self-deprecation, but thought better of it. "…you just lie down and I am gonna start supper and I will come in and get you when it's time to eat." She took the duffel and unpacked the few things he had put into it. She folded it and put it on the shelf in the closet. "Just try to get some rest, Sweetie. I know you will feel better if you get some sleep." She walked over to him and, in a gesture reserved mostly for her own children, she leaned over and kissed him on his head. She then turned and left.

Johnny kicked off his shoes and lie down on the bed. He closed his eyes and prayed silently for the dreams and nightmares to stay away. In a few moments, he was asleep, but the nightmares won out and he would not find complete rest.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Rememories – Pt. 2

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Roy worked well with just about everyone. He remembered that he had his share of temporary partners when Johnny was ill or injured, and he found a way to make the best of every situation. Since the tragedy ten days ago that claimed the lives of two Firemen and hospitalized another Fireman/Paramedic AND, incapacitated their Captain, many LA County Firefighters were pulling extra shifts at Station 99. It was not often that one Station had such a high number of casualties, but sometimes it happened that way. Roy had two subs at his Station this shift and one was Gil Robinson. Gil trained with Roy and Johnny when he took Paramedic Training and he had excellent skills in the field. Since he had known Johnny in high school, he was worried about him.

"Hey, _Cap_, how's Gage doin'?" He asked, with a slight emphasis on "Cap" since it was the first time he served under Roy since his promotion. Roy sighed deeply. He felt like he should just wear a sign that said "_Please don't ask me how Johnny is…'cuz I don't really know, myself._" But, Roy immediately felt guilty for his irritation and countered.

"He's as good as can be expected, I guess, Gil. He's not eating or sleeping well, but after what he went through…most of us would be the same." Roy offered, giving a shrug to his shoulders. He couldn't imagine being in Johnny's shoes and wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy…or, even Craig Brice, for that matter.

"He didn't look very good at the funerals. He looked pale and thin…man, Gage can't stand to lose much more weight. He's gonna waste away to nothin'." Gil observed. Roy nodded his agreement.

"He was pretty insistent on attending both services…being their Captain 'n all. I thought he should stay home and rest. But, Brackett told 'im he could go if he felt up to it, so he did. I'm not sure it got the results Johnny or Brackett wanted, though." Roy sighed again, showing his exasperation at Johnny's slow recovery.

"Well, Roy…'m sure he will be okay given time. Has he seen anyone…like a counselor or a shrink?" Gil queried, immediately realizing the question would likely go unanswered due to the nature of his subordination to the two, now-Captains.

Roy shook his head. "It's always a fight getting Johnny to do what's best for himself…but, then it will be a fight getting Johnny to see anyone…you know how he hates shrinks." Roy chuckled despite the grim topic and realized he was on the edge of sharing too much.

Gil laughed a bit as well. "Yeah, it's like pullin' teeth to get him to ask for help. But, if counseling is the best thing…" Roy nodded as Gil's thought trailed, and began to say something when the tones sounded calling the Squad into action.

As Roy acknowledged the call and sent the Squad on its way, he watched the lights fade into the distance, he silently hoped that Brackett would require Johnny to see someone. "_Since he's not talkin' to me, he needs to talk to someone._" Roy rationalized as he allowed the Bay doors to finally close. "_He needs to talk to someone_."

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_Johnny could feel the heat rising and his air tank alarm was sounding. He would be out of air in just a few minutes. He looked around and saw three other Firemen who had been knocked down by the explosion as well. Those were HIS men. He jumped to his feet and began to search for a safe place for retreat. He felt the door close to him and it was cool to the touch. He used his right leg to force the door open and, only then, realized that his leg was bleeding. "__**To hell with me**__." He thought. So, he disregarded his own injuries and searched the room for windows. There was only one window and it was very high, but the fire had yet to spread to that room. It would be safe, for now._

_Johnny began the grueling duty of collecting the bodies of his fallen men, two linemen and a Paramedic. All three were from Station 99. His Station. Captain Gage had entered the building with one of his Paramedics, Greg Daniels, to check for more victims and to let the hose crews know that they were to evacuate very soon. He could tell that the building was a ticking time bomb and would soon become a deathtrap. Since Greg's partner had left in the ambulance with another victim, Johnny put on his gear and didn't think twice. He had kept up his Paramedic Certification and, down deep, he would always be a Rescue Man. So, when Greg needed a partner…there was no one else to send as far as he was concerned. _

_When he got Greg's body moved, he quickly returned for the other two. The men were "dead weight", and Johnny hoped that it was because of their breathing apparatus and not that they were already…gone. As he got all three of his men through the door, he slammed it shut, hard, and reached for his HT. He wanted to be sure there was help on the way. As he brought the radio to his face, he heard the alarm go off on his SCBA again. That meant he was out of air and he could feel that was the case. He pulled off his mask to call for help._

"_HT-99 to Engine 99, do you read?" He hoped that he could be heard above all the noise of the fire and his own breathing. When the reply was delayed, he tried again. "HT-99 to Engine 99, DO YOU READ?" He yelled. He took a deep breath as he regarded the bodies of three fallen Firemen in front of him. "C'mon…C'mon…" He muttered impatiently._

"_Engine 99, we read you HT-99. Where are you, Cap?" Came the voice his Engineer, Doug March. _

"_Doug," damn protocol. "we are trapped on the third floor. I have three Code I's…we need help fast. My air tank is out and theirs are low, too. You gotta get us outta here, FAST." He called to his crewman. Doug gulped as he looked at the building that threatened now to collapse completely. He prayed for the greater part of Station 99—four men in all—who were now trapped inside._

"_10-4, HT-99, we are on our way!" Doug replied as he listened to his Captain describe where they were trapped. Then Doug realized he couldn't make that decision, so he ran to Chief Stanley. He tried to maintain composure the best he could. "Uh, Chief, Sir…uh," He was failing miserably._

"_Spit it out, Son. What is it?" Chief Stanley demanded._

"_Yes, Sir, Chief. Captain Gage and three of our men from 99's are stuck on the third floor in an anterior room, Sir. I just got off the horn with Captain Gage and he said that his air tank is out and the other men are all Code I's and low on air, too." Doug let out a long breath when he finished his report._

"_I got this, Pal." Chief Stanley reassured the Engineer who was beginning to look a little green. "Station 51 and Station 14," He barked into the radio, "we have four firemen trapped on the 3__rd__ floor. Let's get two crews in there as soon as we have the all-clear from Battalion." Radio traffic increased and Johnny could hear that help was on the way._

_Johnny put the HT down and pulled off his gloves. He returned to Paramedic mode and began the check of his men for signs of life. He found a pulse on all three men and began his assessment of their injuries. He ran his hands expertly over Greg's neck, shoulders, arms, torso, pelvis and legs. When he got to the man's right tibia and fibula, the man gasped. Thinking he had caused his man pain, Johnny yelled above the noise of the fire, "'M sorry, Greg…can you hear me?" _

"_Cap…'sthat you?" Greg mumbled into his mask. Johnny nodded his head and put himself into the man's line of sight. Greg tried to reach up to pull his mask away, and panicked when he couldn't move his arms. "Cap, I can't move my arms…or my legs…what the hell is going on?" Johnny's suspicion of a broken neck had been confirmed. _

"_Greg…just calm down. It's gonna be okay. I will get you outta here as soon as possible and the Docs at Rampart will fix you up!" Johnny tried to reassure his man._

_Greg allowed the words to sink in, but asked, "How bad is it, Cap?" Johnny took a quick glance toward the others who looked like broken toys lying on the floor. He looked into the Paramedic's eyes and told the truth._

"_Greg, you may have a neck fracture, you've got some broken ribs, and a compound tib/fib fracture..maybe some internal injuries. Just stay still while I check the others. Help is on the way, man." He hoped his last words would bring comfort to his Patient, yes that was what he was. But, he was also Johnny's crewmember. He couldn't let these men die…not on his watch! Johnny also knew it would bring him little comfort if he was told the same thing he'd just told Greg. But, he knew he could not lie to his man._

_Johnny jumped over Greg and checked the other Firefighters. Johnny had come to know both men well over the months they had served together and he regarded them fondly. They were both characters and jokesters…much like Chet Kelly had been during his days at 51's. Jameson and Baker were their names and others at 99's often referred to them as "Frick and Frack." He leaned over them now, talking to them and reassuring them that help was on the way. _

_His hands moved over the men's extremities as he checked for wounds and broken bones. He made mental notes of their injuries as he heard their tank alarms go off a second time. He slowly pulled Jameson's mask away and noticed he had stopped breathing. Johnny quickly checked for a pulse and found none. He pulled the man's turnout coat open and ripped his shirt as he performed a "cardiac thump" to see if the man would revive. When he didn't, Johnny began CPR. After what seemed an eternity, he checked for a pulse again and found none. He continued CPR until he felt Greg behind him, attempting to move his head. He turned sharply and yelled, "Daniels, I told you to stay still man! You're gonna make things a whole lot worse!" Daniels acquiesced and remained still, though he was worried about his Captain and crewmates. _

_Johnny sighed loudly and moved to the other man, Baker. He found no pulse on him either. After 10 minutes of CPR, Johnny was completely spent and had no more energy to continue. He coughed and hacked as the thick smoke threatened to take what breath he had left. He looked down at the two men he'd lost, shook his head back and forth as he sunk back on his heels and stared at Greg. "I won't let you die, man." He promised. And, they waited for help to arrive._

Johnny woke in a cold sweat. He rubbed his eyes to try to erase the vision of the dead Firemen from his mind. But, it was a losing battle. "'M sorry, guys…'m sorry." He cried softly as he sunk back onto the pillow and sobbed.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Rememories – Pt. 3

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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The sun had long stopped casting shadows on the walls of his room and he had finally given up on sleep. After another unrewarding call to Rampart, he was still lying on the bed when he heard a soft knock at the door. "Come in." He called. He heard the knob turn and saw a small set of fingers wrap around the door as it slowly opened. Roy's seven-year-old daughter, Jennifer, peeked her head in the door.

"Uncle Johnny," She whispered loudly. "You awake?" She quietly snuck into the room and walked toward the bed. The light shone from the hallway as he slowly sat up on the bed.

"Yeah, 'm awake, Pumpkin." He said to the little girl with long blond curls running down her back. She smiled as she continued moving toward him.

"Momma said to come get you. Dinner's ready. You feel like eatin' something?" She asked with a worried tone; passed down from her Father, no doubt.

"I guess I could eat." Johnny lied. "What have you been doing all evening, Princess?" Jenny loved all the pet names her Uncle had for her. She never tired of the special bond they formed as soon as they met. She walked right up to where he was sitting on the bed and put her arms around him. She found a spot just her size and rested her head right under his chin. He put his arms around the girl's tiny frame and relished the smell of Johnson's & Johnson's Baby Shampoo on her still-damp locks.

Noticing his damp clothes she remarked, "Did you just take a bath, too, Uncle Johnny? Your clothes are all wet."

Johnny pulled Jenny away from him and looked down into her blue eyes…the eyes of her Father. They were innocent, non-judgmental, and loving. "No, Princess. I just fell asleep with my clothes on and I guess I just got a little warm is all." He explained. "Why don't you go tell Mom I will be out in just few minutes and I'll get my shirt changed, 'k?" He smiled and tweaked her nose a bit. That elicited a giggle from Jenny.

"'K." She replied as she turned and retreated from the room. Johnny took in a deep sigh and brushed a hand through his own damp hair. He wished it was because he had just showered, but he had been waking up in a cold sweat for the past week, unable to sleep without remembering the events of 10 days ago and the man still fighting for life at Rampart. He changed his shirt and walked out to the kitchen to join Jo and kids for supper.

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Brackett and Early met in the younger doctor's office at Rampart. They were there to discuss the Review Board findings from Johnny's hearing. "Joe, Hank told me the Review Board cleared Johnny of any negligence or dereliction. It wasn't exactly orthodox for Johnny to go into that building, but it wasn't totally against protocol either. And, we know he did everything he could to save the lives of his men, too. With what Johnny wrote in his report and the autopsy findings of Baker and Jameson, he's pretty-much in the clear."

Joe Early pondered the statements and his mind wandered back to the scene in the ER when Johnny and Greg were brought in. "It's a wonder Greg made it to us alive with the injuries he sustained, Kel. That alone is a testament to Johnny's capability and care. I wonder if anyone has told Johnny the findings of the Board. And, will it make any difference?" He had seen his Friend at the funerals and how the stress of losing two men and having another critically injured and in a coma was taking its toll.

Kel lowered his head and brushed a hand through his thick black hair. "Yeah, Joe, I know what you mean. But, with the injuries Daniels had, it was more than a wonder he made it here alive…it was a damn miracle." And, somehow, he was going to convince Captain John Gage that he had helped make that miracle happen. "Hank's given me the task of telling Johnny what the Board determined at our appointment tomorrow morning. You know, now that Johnny's not a practicing Paramedic anymore, I don't really have a say in any of this. But, Hank knows that Johnny and I are still close and I am his doctor, after all." Brackett wasn't sure if he wanted the dubious honor of giving Johnny the Board outcomes, for he was certain that John Gage would fight tooth and nail that he was responsible for the deaths of those men...just for the simple fact that, as their Captain, he sent them into building.

"You gonna release him to return to duty, Kel?" Early inquired of his Friend, pulling him from his musing. Both doctors had become close with former Paramedic and considered the young man a good Friend. It was difficult to provide medical treatment to your Friends.

"I don't know, Joe. You saw 'im at that last service…he's lost some weight and he's obviously not sleeping well. I knew that he would feel terrible about his mens' deaths…especially since he tried so hard to keep 'em alive…but, I am afraid it may be even more than that." Brackett proposed.

"Survivor's guilt?" Early asked. Brackett nodded his endorsement of the diagnosis.

"Yeah. I know he isn't gonna like it, but I want him to talk to someone before I release him to return to duty. Hank has agreed to back me up on this. He needs to work through this, or it could just continue to eat him alive until there is nothing left…literally." Brackett admitted.

Both men stared at their coffee cups as they considered the fate of John Gage. The ball would definitely be in his court come tomorrow morning.

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Johnny picked at his supper and took a few bites. The food was delicious. JoAnne's cooking was some of the best Johnny had ever sampled. But, tonight…just as the past six nights…he just did not have much of an appetite. He was startled from his reverie when Chris spoke up.

"Uncle Johnny, what if you, me and Dad go fishin' this weekend?" Chris enthusiastically posed the question.

"'Fraid I'll have to pass, Sport. Not much in the mood for fishing right now. Sorry." Johnny sighed. JoAnne looked at Chris and saw the disappointment and worries there.

"Uh, Chris and Jenny…why don't you clear the table and put the dishes in the sink. Go to your rooms and finish your homework. Your Dad should be calling in about an hour to say 'goodnight' and then it's bedtime." JoAnne expertly diverted the children from staring at their Uncle. She walked over behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Johnny, why don't you go sit on the deck for a while…the fresh air will do you good." She suggested. Johnny, lost in thought, put his fork down and tried to register what she had said.

"Huh…um…oh, yeah. I guess I will sit on the deck for a while. But, I should make a call first." He started to get up and move toward the phone. She put her hand on his shoulder pushing him back into the chair.

"No, Johnny. You know Dr. Brackett or Dixie will call you if there is any change…'sides, how many times have you already called today?" JoAnne knowingly asked.

He looked up at her with is "puppy dog" eyes and she melted. "I dunno…five or six, I guess."

"Well, just go on outside for now. After Roy calls, you can call and check one more time, if you want." He obeyed and got up and walked robotically to the slider doors and went out onto the deck.

"Mommy," Jenny cried from the kitchen, "will Uncle Johnny ever feel happy again?" JoAnne allowed tears to pool in the corners of her eyes for her Friend as she hugged her daughter close. She sat in one of the kitchen chairs and pulled her daughter into her lap to explain.

"Uncle Johnny will feel happy again, Honey. It's just that something bad happened to him and all those memories have him feeling kinda sad. When he tries to think of other things…he remembers what happened and gets sad all over again. So, it will take a little while, but he will get better." JoAnne answered Jenny.

"Well, we will just make some new rememories so he won't be sad anymore." Jenny reasoned. JoAnne laughed a little and corrected her daughter.

"You mean new memories, Jenny. And, I'm afraid it's just not that easy. I wish it was, Honey…I wish it was." JoAnne trailed off.

Chris, getting angry, put the plates in the sink with a bit more force than actually necessary and stormed off to his room. As he went, he muttered, "I want the 'ol Uncle Johnny back! He used to want to go fishing and camping all the time. This sucks!" JoAnne cringed as she heard his door slam. She knew he was hurt, worried, and angry. But, she didn't know how to make any of it better. The only one who could do that was Johnny…and, right now, Johnny couldn't make himself feel better, let alone, her Son.

She kissed Jenny on the top of her head and scooted her off to her room and started the dinner dishes. She looked outside the window and saw that Johnny had lain down on one of the chaise lounge chairs in the yard. She hoped he would find some rest in the cool of the evening.

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_Johnny called in the Code F's on the HT and turned all his attention toward Greg. When Greg's SCBA ran out of air, he carefully cut it away from the Paramedic's body and used the straps and turnout coats from the deceased Firemen to splint Greg's leg and create a makeshift C-collar. He continued to monitor Greg's vital signs and thought that there might be some improvement._

"_Greg!" Johnny called. "Greg. Hey, man, can you hear me?" He tried to rouse his Patient._

_Greg opened his eyes and looked up at Johnny. "I can hear you, Cap. How are the others? How are Baker and Jameson?" He pleaded. When he saw the look on his superior's face, his facial features fell, too. "No…no…" Greg moaned._

"'_M sorry, Greg. I couldn't save 'em. 'M sorry." Johnny cried over and over._

"_Guess I'm pretty bad off, too, huh, Cap?" Greg asked as he tried to make a joke to lighten the mood. "Uh…I mean since you are playin' Paramedic and all." He tried to smile as he looked into his Captain's face._

_Johnny remembered his promise to the man and reiterated it now. "Greg…I'm not gonna let you die man. We're gonna get outta here, I promise. They are on their way to find us now." Johnny reassured his man._

_Greg rambled on while they waited for help. "You know, I just had one more semester in school before I had my degree, Cap. I was gonna be a high school counselor and coach. I was volunteering as a Fireman the summer before my Senior year and I just fell in love with it. So, I quit school and joined the Department." Johnny could hear the man's breathing changing and did his best to make him comfortable._

"_You are a great Firefighter and an excellent Paramedic, Greg. You have a long career ahead of you…just hang in there." Johnny pleaded._

_Greg continued. "Not as good as you, Cap. I followed your career after I joined up. You were the reason I joined the Paramedics. When I found out you were going to be my Captain, I was scared shitless." He confided._

"_Scared? Why scared?" Johnny asked, looking around to see if there were signs that help was coming._

"_How often do you get to work with a legend, Sir? You were one of the first and the best ever trained. How can I live up to that? Especially now…?" Greg asked._

"_Just live, Greg…Just live. The rest will work itself out." Just a moment later, Johnny's attention was diverted by a noise that he dreaded. The sound was that of boards weakening and beginning to give way. He glanced up and realized the ceiling was caving down around them. That last thing he remembered doing was throwing his own body over the top of Greg's and then…darkness._

Tears filled Johnny's eyes again as he remembered the look on Greg's face just before the world, literally, came crashing down. He had promised to get Greg out alive…and, now, he lay in a coma. What kind of life had he saved if the man would never talk, walk or do anything he loved again? How would Johnny ever be able to live with knowing he lost the lives of, not two, but three men from his own Station that day?

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Rememories – Pt. 4

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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"I know how to fix Uncle Johnny, Daddy." Jenny joyfully crooned to Roy on the phone. Roy was intrigued.

"What do you have in mind, Jenny?" Roy asked.

"Mommy says he has some bad rememories…we just need to get 'im some new ones that are good." The little girl said with a matter-of-fact whimsy.

"You mean memories, Jenny? That Johnny has bad memories." Roy corrected.

The little girl, exasperated, answered. "That's what I said, Daddy…rememories. We just need to get Uncle Johnny some good ones so he isn't sad anymore." Jenny continued.

Roy nodded his adoration for his daughter. She loved her Uncle so much and this past week had been hard on both of the children. Seeing their Uncle in such a state of depression had caused them a lot of worry and pain. It had caused him and JoAnne a lot of worry, too. "Well, Honey, I think you may have something there. When I get home tomorrow, we will have to talk about some new…uh…rememories to make with Johnny, okay?" He encouraged.

After Roy talked with the kids, he asked JoAnne to get Johnny. "Is he awake, Jo?" Roy asked.

"I think so, Honey. I sent him outside to get some fresh air. He didn't eat much for supper again." She updated him. "Did Chris tell you anything about what happened when we were cleaning up?" She asked Roy as she peered through the kitchen curtains to see if Johnny was sleeping or awake.

"Yeah, he told me. And, I told him he had to apologize to you for slamming his door. I explained to him the best I could about how Johnny is feeling…he can't understand it, Jo. He just thinks Johnny should be happy HE is alive, no matter what happened to the other guys. But, I tried to tell him that is not how it goes all the time. He will understand when he gets older. I told 'im we'd go fishin' this weekend, though…with or without Johnny." Roy explained. About the time he finished telling her about her talk with Chris, she heard the sliding glass door open and Johnny stepped in. He offered a slight grin as she turned to him.

"Johnny, it's Roy…he wants to talk with you." She said as she pushed the phone receiver toward him. He accepted the offering and she turned to check on the children.

"Uh, hey Roy. How's the shift going?" He wanted to steer the conversation away from himself.

"It's been fairly quiet. Everyone's been askin' about you. How ya feelin', Junior?" Roy ventured. It had been a while since Roy used his old pet name for Johnny. Since they had become Captains, the men spent less time together on the job, naturally. But, they still got together off duty when they could. Johnny shoved a hand in his pocket and shifted his weight to his uninjured leg. While his injuries were all nearly healed, they still bothered him a bit.

"'M fine, Roy. I keep tellin' everyone 'm fine!" Johnny snapped.

"Yeah…well, maybe if you keep sayin' it enough, you think it will actually come true!" Roy snorted back. "Look, I didn't want to fight with ya, I just wanted to know what time you're meeting with Brackett in the morning. I thought we could go have some breakfast first and then I could drive you over to your appointment." Roy had calmed himself by the end of the sentence.

Johnny was already sorry for getting angry with Roy. He had benefited from Roy's friendship for years and this past week was no exception. "'M sorry, Roy…yeah, breakfast sounds good. I meet with Brackett at 10:30." Johnny handed the phone back to JoAnne who had put the kids to bed and returned for her "goodnight's" with Roy.

"See you in the morning, Jo." Johnny said as he left the kitchen. She waved a hand and her sad eyes followed Johnny as he slowly walked away.

"Honey, he's not getting better, is he?" She asked her husband.

"Jo, the physical wounds are the easiest to deal with. His ribs and leg have healed okay, but the deeper hurt is still festering. Having lost his men like that…" Roy shivered at the thought. "Being the only one to walk away…well, at least for now. Brackett's gonna blow a gasket when he sees Johnny. He's probably lost more weight since the last time he's seen 'im. It's not good, Jo…it's not good." Roy admitted. They said their goodnights and Roy told her of his plans to take Johnny to breakfast in the morning to see if he could get the younger man to open up and share his feelings. She said a silent prayer as she hung up the phone that her husband could get Johnny to open up and begin to heal his broken spirit.

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"_Backboard…" "Start an IV…" Johnny could hear the buzz around him as he moved in and out of consciousness. "Put a pressure bandage on that leg wound…" The instructions continued. "Transport as soon as possible." "We got ya', Cap." He heard his Engineer say. That was the last thing Johnny heard as sleep claimed him. He didn't know it, but that would the last peaceful sleep that would be his for some time to come._

_The bright lights of the hallway at Rampart were the next things he remembered seeing. He slowly moved his head to see if he could find out what was going on and the first face he found was Roy's. "Hey, Partner." He groaned out. Roy quickly grabbed his hand. "What are you doin' here?" Roy's concern showed._

"_Hey, Johnny. They called me when they brought you in. You still have me listed as your medical power of attorney." He looked at his former Partner with sad eyes. "Glad to have you back with us again." Roy replied with a worried scowl. Johnny didn't know what he meant by "again" so he began to ask questions._

"_What happened, Roy? The last thing I remember is talking to Greg before the whole damn ceiling came down on us." Johnny searched Roy's face for a tell. Roy dodged the best he could and smiled._

"_They got you both out and Greg is in surgery. You have some cracked ribs, smoke inhalation, and that cut in your leg needs a few stitches is all. You are gonna be fine, Johnny." Roy answered. Johnny breathed a sigh of relief in hearing that Greg was still alive. He had remembered promising Greg he would get him out alive…he was glad he did not go back on that promise. The lights above him continued to fly past as he was taken to the suture room. He had forgotten about Jameson and Baker…at least for the time being._

_The sedative they gave him for the pain in his leg and ribs had made him groggy, but he fought sleep so he could get updates on Greg's condition. He asked Roy every few minutes if there was any news on his Paramedic. Roy kept checking and returned with little-to-no information each time. Johnny's blood pressure continued to rise as he remembered the deaths of the other two men. Dr. Morton, who was suturing Johnny's leg and bandaging his ribs, finally told Johnny he needed to calm down._

"_You don't understand, Doc. These were my men…and, he's the only one I could save. He's gotta be okay. I've gotta know that he's gonna be okay." Johnny pleaded with the young doctor. Morton responded in his typical, infamous fashion._

"_Gage, right now, he's not my concern, you are. Just settle down and let me finish here." Morton grumbled. Johnny flashed a pleading glance to Roy who lowered his head in compliance with Morton's wishes. Once Johnny was settled in his room, and Morton was gone, he asked Roy to please check on Greg's condition. He waited anxiously for a report._

_Johnny was going over the whole ordeal in his mind…the explosion…moving his men to the safe room…being unable to save Baker and Jameson…and, throwing his own body over Greg's during the collapse. He also remembered that his assessment of Greg revealed a probable broken neck, possible internal injuries and a punctured lung. But, he had made it out alive…that was something. He was startled from his thoughts as the door opened and Roy and Brackett joined him. Their faces bore the harbinger of their news. _

"_Doc?" Was Johnny's one-word question for which he already knew the answer. Roy walked over and placed an arm on his Friend's shoulder to offer what comfort he could as Brackett shared the sad news._

"_I'm sorry, Johnny. The damage is pretty significant. His neck is broken and the internal injuries were pretty severe. Greg has slipped into a coma. We've got 'im on a vent and I just don't know if he's gonna make it. I just came from telling his family." Brackett droned on as Johnny shook his head in disbelief. _

"_But, he's alive, Doc." Johnny railed. Brackett and Roy shot a look to each other and they both looked back to Johnny._

"_Johnny…Greg's injuries, honestly-speaking, were fatal. There is no explanation to how you got 'im out of there alive. He's lost a lot of blood and his neck is snapped nearly in two." Brackett continued his explanation. "Johnny, he may have a machine breathing for him the rest of his life…if he makes it through the night." The doctor looked at his Friend and Patient and was sorry for the bad news he shared. "I will have the nurse come in and give you something to help you sleep. Try to get some rest and we will talk more in the morning."_

"_Nothin' to talk about, Doc." Johnny moaned as he pulled the sheet up to his chin and slid down the pillow. He closed in on himself and tried to find sleep. Roy kept vigil and watched as his Friend tossed and turned against the nightmares and images that haunted him._

Johnny looked at the clock and saw that it was 03:30. He had not slept more than an hour or two a night since he found out Greg Daniels was in a coma. He blamed himself…no so much for Greg's condition…but, for walking out of that mess when three other Firemen had not. Johnny was indeed suffering from "survivor's guilt"…would he let it envelop him or would he try to find a way to overcome it?

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Rememories – Pt. 5

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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After ordering, Roy pulled his coffee cup to his lips and took a long sip as he regarded Johnny. He frowned at what he saw.

"Johnny, you look like hell." Roy honestly stated. "You think Brackett's gonna release you to return to duty lookin' like you are?" He asked.

Johnny looked down at his hands and mulled over Roy's question. "Maybe I shouldn't go back." He admitted freely. Roy was shocked at the statement and let silence settle. Johnny broke the looming chasm. "You know, when I was a Rescue Man, there was this guy that got electrocuted. Tony Freeman and I got 'im down from this pole and I rode in with him. We got him to Rampart and, I was sure he was alive." He shook his head at the memory. "But, he was dead, Roy. After all that we had done, all that Brackett had done to try to save 'im…he was dead." Johnny shut his eyes as if he was seeing the scene in his mind and he continued. "He had the feel, you know?" Johnny barely whispered the last phrase.

"What did you say, Johnny?" Roy coaxed.

"He had the feel." Johnny attempted to explain. "You know, Roy…there are those that just feel like they're gonna make it. Greg had the feel." Johnny paused and sipped his coffee. "That guy on that pole had the feel, too. And, I was wrong both times. I lost 'em both."

"Johnny, Greg may be in a coma, but you got him outta there alive. There is no tellin' what might happen, you know?" Roy tried his best to comfort Johnny. "Hell, when we were in Rescue, we didn't even have the skills we have now, let alone the equipment. That guy didn't have a chance back then. And, with Greg…well…maybe, if help could have gotten to you guys sooner, maybe he'd be better off right now…but, Brackett said that the only reason he was alive when you guys were dug outta there was because YOU were wedged on top of him." Roy shared.

Johnny's face contorted and he asked, "What does that mean?"

"Brackett believes that your body weight on top of him kept pressure on his abdomen and that prevented him from bleeding out. If the cave-in hadn't happened, he would have been dead before he reached the hospital. Johnny, Brackett knows what you did for Greg and what you tried to do for Jameson and Baker." Roy stated bluntly. Johnny didn't know yet the results of the Review Board or the autopsy findings. This was news to him and his shock was evident.

"What the hell are you saying, Roy?" Johnny asked, confused.

"Johnny, what I am saying is that, for whatever reason…Greg made it to Rampart alive. And, the autopsy findings show that you tried to save Jameson and Baker, too." Roy was not sure he was supposed to be sharing this information, but he felt it was certainly necessary to help his Friend to begin to heal.

Johnny shook his head in disbelief. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Johnny, Brackett will probably tell you today. They just got the findings from the Review Board yesterday and the autopsy results were in the same report." Roy let too much slip.

"And, how is it YOU know all of this and I'm left in the dark!" Johnny's voice was raised and a few other customers looked their way. The waitress who was approaching their table to see if they wanted refills on their coffee, imperceptibly turned on her heel and walked in another direction.

"Johnny, calm down. I don't know as much as you think I do. Dix just told me some of what she's been hearing around the hospital is all. She's worried about you…we all are." Roy lowered his voice more as he spoke to try to get Johnny to do the same. "And, no matter what those reports say…we all know you did everything in your power to save all three of those men…even at the risk of your own life." Roy allowed a flash of pride to cover his face. He was proud of Johnny, but he was also happy that Johnny had survived. The two were like Brothers and it would be a terrible day for either of them if the other ceased to be.

"I felt like everyone was looking at me." Johnny shared, as Roy fought to find context.

"When? What are you talking about, Johnny?"

"At the funerals. I felt like everyone was looking at me. Wondering why I didn't die, too. That maybe I…maybe I…" Johnny could barely finish his thoughts. "I was their Captain, Roy…maybe, I should have died instead of them."

"No one thought that, Johnny!" Roy rebuked. "Honestly, where do you come up with this stuff?" Roy said as he shook his head back and forth in exasperation, getting the slightest grin from Johnny.

"Don't know…just my imagination, I guess." Johnny supposed. Roy nodded his agreement as he downed the last of his coffee and glanced at his watch.

"Well, Junior, let's just give that imagination of yours a rest and get you to your appointment with Brackett, huh?"

Johnny wiped his mouth and threw the discarded napkin on his half-eaten breakfast plate. "Okay, Pally, let's go."

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Johnny walked into the Emergency Room at Rampart, but his mind was several floors up in ICU. He wanted desperately to push the elevator button and go to see how Greg was doing. Roy sensed his Friend's angst and put a guiding hand on Johnny's shoulder, slightly nudging him toward Brackett's office door. When they arrived at the door, it was Roy who knocked.

Before the door was opened, a familiar voice interrupted Johnny's thoughts. "Hey, there, Handsome." He turned to see Dixie McCall walking toward him with a smile in her eyes and on her face. "It's good to see you, Johnny." She said as she walked up and placed a kiss on his, now blushing cheek. Just then the door to Brackett's office opened and the color moved from just his cheeks to his ears and neck.

Brackett and Roy smiled while Johnny basked in the attention Dixie lavished. "Uh, Dix…you think I can see my Patient now?" Brackett teasingly queried.

"Not before I'm through with my check, Doctor." She quipped as she looked at her Friend. The smile left her eyes as she saw his sunken eyes and slim frame. But, the smile never left her lips. "Okay, looks like he needs a good night's sleep and some more good home-cookin'. He'll be good in no time." She teased. She was rewarded with only a slight smile from Johnny and a chuckle from Roy. "Let me know when you're done here, Johnny. I will go up to ICU with you and Roy." That brought the reaction she wanted as Johnny smiled and asked his Doctor.

"I can go see Greg?" Johnny almost begged.

"Johnny, let's go to Treatment Room 2. After I get you checked out and we talk, I will consider letting you go up there with Roy and Dix. How's that sound?" Brackett answered.

"Sound's good to me, Doc. Let's go." Johnny said as he followed Brackett to the treatment room. Roy and Dixie lagged behind and continued talking.

"He's not doing as well as I'd hoped, Roy." Dixie confessed.

"I know, Dix. And, home-cooking is, unfortunately, not the answer." Roy stated as they watched the two men disappear behind the door of the treatment room.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Rememories – Pt. 6

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny determined that he would be cooperative and conciliatory. Not that he much wanted to, but it would result in him being able to see Greg and he desperately wanted to do that. Brackett was half way through a thought when Johnny finally steered his attention toward the Doctor. "Uh…'m sorry, Doc. What did you say?" He muttered.

Brackett looked at Johnny, and with a smirk said, "Bet your mind is on seeing Greg. But, first things first…tell me how this week has been for you Johnny."

Johnny did not hold back. He was honest. He told Brackett about his poor sleeping patterns, the nightmares, flashbacks and memories, and that he had not been eating well. None of this was news to his Doctor.

Brackett continued his exam of the ribs and the cut on Johnny's leg. Both injuries had healed to his satisfaction. But, he was worried about Johnny's state of mind. "Johnny, I'd like you to talk to someone." He met Johnny's exasperated gaze and continued. "You're barely fit for duty…a strong wind could blow you away, and that is not much of an exaggeration!" Brackett railed. "You need to get over your guilt and get on with your life, Johnny. I know you feel bad for those men you lost, but you have to get on with things…just like when Chet died. Maybe you should talk to Hank about this." He did feel sad for Johnny, but wanted his Friend and Patient to work through his guilt somehow.

Johnny had a look as if he'd been slapped. He had been thinking of Chet some, but it was not the same. Hank Stanley had not been with Chet when he died…he had not tried to save him only to fail as Johnny had…and, he had not walked out the fire that killed his lineman. He took a deep breath and measured his emotions before speaking. "Doc," He began. "You don't understand. When Chet died…it was different. I was responsible for those men. It was up to me to get them out alive, and I failed." He shared his grief.

Brackett shook his head back and forth while considering what Johnny said. "Well, I think you should talk with him. He knows what you're going through, maybe he can offer some advice on how to get past this." Brackett reasoned.

Johnny nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, I can do that…but, Doc…knowing that another person is drowning doesn't make the saltwater taste any sweeter." Johnny said.

"What the hell does that mean?" Brackett asked.

"Never mind…I will talk to the Chief. Is that all? Am I released for duty?"

"Yeah, I guess so…but, not this next shift. I want you to take the weekend to have your talk with Hank and sort things out some more. Then, next week, you can return if you feel up to it." Brackett acquiesced.

"Can I go see Greg now?" Johnny got to his main objective. Brackett smiled knowingly, but with some sadness.

"Sure, Johnny. But, there's been no change in his condition. Joe is checking his brain activity again this afternoon…it doesn't look good. His family is considering taking him off life support."

Johnny had somehow known those things already, but he was determined to do whatever was in his power to prevent that from happening. "I understand, Doc." He stammered as he got up and buttoned his shirt. He walked to the door and, as an afterthought, turned to ask. "Is there ANY hope at all?"

"Johnny, you got 'im out of that hell hole alive…I think that might be the only miracle we are going to see this week. 'M sorry."

Johnny nodded his understanding and went to find Roy and Dixie to join him in the ICU.

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The ICU was not as quiet as you would think it should be. With the hum of ventilators, beeping of machines, various alarms and the crying and grieving of family members, it was not quiet at all. Dixie and Roy waited at the nurse's station while Johnny continued toward Greg's bed. He was hooked up to just about every machine possible and had IV's and tubes running in and out of his body. Johnny sighed with relief that Greg was alone. He didn't know if he could face any family members with all the guilt he was carrying.

As he moved to the side of the bed, his medical knowledge betrayed him and stole some of the hope he had in Greg's recovery. The heart monitor showed a sinus tachycardia and the miniscule flow from the Foley catheter was evidence that his kidneys were not functioning at normal levels either. Greg's body, though warm and seemingly alive, was dying. Johnny hung his head as he took Greg's hand in his.

Choking back the emotions, Johnny spoke softly to his Crewmember, His Paramedic. "Hey, Greg. Sorry it took me so long to get by to see you. Brackett…well, he wouldn't let me come till now." Johnny sighed deeply as he continued.

"This week's been rough. We had funerals for Jameson and Baker…I know you would've wanted to be there. Jameson's mom said you two went through the Academy together. I don't think I knew that." He paused as he heard an alarm sound in another room. He briefly considered responding and joked. "I guess you can take the man out of the Paramedics, but not the Paramedic out of the man." He was interrupted by a noise behind him.

"Hey, Cap." He heard someone whisper.

Johnny turned to see his other Paramedic, Marcus Riley, standing next to him. He grinned slightly. "Hey, Marc." Was all he could offer. The younger man moved to the other side of the bed and pulled the sheet up on his Partner's chest.

"Sorry I wasn't there, Cap." Marc confessed. Johnny was shocked at the words he heard.

"This is NOT your fault, Marc! Do you hear me? This is not your fault. You were taking care of the other victims and you did your job…nothing more needs to be said about that." Captain Gage consoled his young charge. But the tables quickly turned.

"Maybe you should practice what you preach, Cap. No disrespect intended, Sir. Just seems like you're takin' on more blame than you deserve, too." Marc said and then regretted moments later. His Captain saved him.

"You're probly right." Johnny sighed. "But, it doesn't make me feel any less guilty that Greg is laying there and I'm standin' here."

Marc cleared his throat. "Uh…Cap…when will you be back on duty?" He asked, changing the subject. Johnny smiled knowingly. He had the same habit and was a master of it.

"After the weekend. I still have a few things to sort out, but it will be good to be back." He lied. He was scared to return to his station, knowing that he would have three new men under his command. But, he had not shared those fears with anyone.

"We'll all be glad to have you back, Cap." Marc said. "I have to get going. I just stopped in to see how he was doing today." He glanced at his Partner who lay comatose in the bed between the two men. "I will see you later." And he was gone.

"You have a good Partner there, Greg. I always thought you two made a good team." Johnny cleared his throat as he thought of what to say. "I…I…Oh, hell, Greg. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't save Jameson and Baker and I'm sorry as hell you're in here." His emotions threatened as he let one tear run down his cheek. "It's my fault, Greg. It's all my fault." He hung his head down and listed to the hum of the respirator and the quiet beep of the heart monitor.

"I don't think he would agree." Johnny turned on his heel to see a man standing at the foot of Greg's bed. "And, Captain Gage, I don't agree with your statement either."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Rememories – Pt. 7

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny had met Greg Daniel's father twice before. Once at a Department Picnic and once at the Station. The man had striking features and Greg was nearly his spitting image.

"Mr. Daniels. I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was here. I will go and get out of your way." Johnny began his retreat only to feel Mr. Daniel's hand on his shoulder.

"Captain Gage, please don't go." Johnny turned to face the man and interrupted with…

"Uh, call me Johnny, please."

"Okay, Johnny…Greg worshipped…uh, worships you. He looks up to you as a mentor since you were one of the first practicing Paramedics in the county. His mother was upset when he quit school to join the Fire Department. She worried something like this might happen. But, I knew he had to follow his heart…no matter where it took 'im. When he was assigned to your station, there was no shutting him up about you and your heroics." The man glanced at his Son and then back to Johnny. "He followed your career, you know. He has news clippings of a bunch of your rescues. There was one where you saved a couple guys from a cave-in. And, another when you saved some actor from a bear attack. You're a hero to 'im, Johnny." Johnny felt about two inches high.

"He told me a little about that while we were…trapped. Your son is a great Paramedic, Mr. Daniels. One of the best I've ever known." Johnny stuttered out, trying not to break down again. "I am honored to be his Captain. I'm just sorry that I was not able to help him when the time came."

"Look, Johnny…Dr. Early told us that Greg wouldn't have made it out of that building at all without you. You never left his side and, by what I've been told, you risked your own life for my Son and those other two boys. That might not be a big deal to you since you face death every day, but it is a big deal to me. I don't know if my Son will come out of this, or what kind of life he will have when he does. But, my Son is strong, and he will fight as hard as he can…until he can't anymore." The man walked to his son's side and took his hand. "My Son will fight." Johnny suddenly felt as if he were intruding and walked out of the room.

"I hope you are right, Mr. Daniels." He whispered as he made his way to the Nurse's station where Roy and Dixie still waited. "You ready to go, Roy?" He asked as he approached.

Roy nodded and said, "Whenever you are, Johnny. How's he doing?" Roy knew the answer by reading his Friend's face, but wanted to get a feel for where Johnny's head was.

"The same, I guess." He answered and shrugged his shoulders. "Dix is Dr. Early around anywhere?"

"He's still reviewing test results, Johnny. He has called in some consultations, so it may be later this afternoon before we know anything." Dixie shared as she brushed Johnny's arm. "Why don't you go on home and we will call you later."

"Home sounds good. I think I will do just that." Johnny said with a renewed zest that surprised Dixie and Roy. "C'mon, Roy. I have to get home to Abby and the horses. I've been away too long." He moved beyond his two, still shocked, Friends and walked down the hall.

"Well, I don't know what got into him, but that's the most excited I have seen him about anything for over a week." Roy said. "I bet it will be good for him to be home. His place is a lot more peaceful than ours. That's for sure." Roy joked. "See ya, Dix." He said as he turned to join Johnny who was holding the elevator door. Johnny threw a quick wave to Dixie as Roy joined him and the doors closed.

Dixie thought to herself that Johnny shouldn't be alone…not just yet.

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"That's not fair." Jenny said as she began crying. "Mommy, tell Chris that's not fair."

Chris made plans with his father to leave on a two-day fishing trip the following morning and Johnny was busy packing to return to his ranch. JoAnne could tell that Jenny was feeling quite left out and it was not sitting well with the seven-year-old.

"Honey, it's okay. Daddy and Chris will be back the day after tomorrow and you will see Uncle Johnny again soon. You and I can stay here and make some treats to take to Daddy and Uncle Johnny's Stations for next shift, okay?" JoAnne tried, but there was no placating the youngster. She continued crying and ran to her room.

"'M sorry, Jo. Maybe Chris and I shouldn't go." Roy attempted a truce. JoAnne quickly shook her head and hugged her husband.

"No, don't disappoint Chris. You and he have not been fishing in a while and after what happened at dinner the other night with Johnny, he will be doubly disappointed if you cancel the trip. Jen's just feeling out of sorts because you, Chris and Johnny all seem to be leaving at the same time. She'll be fine." JoAnne explained.

Roy knew she was right. "I wish Johnny would stay here another couple days…just so we know how he's doing. But, he really wants to get back home. I can't say as I blame 'im. If he hears Jen carrying on the way she is, he will think he can't get out of here fast enough." Roy quipped as he continued to hold his wife in his arms. They did not know what was going on down the hall in Jenny's room.

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"What's wrong, Princess?" Johnny asked the crying child as he walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. He brushed long strands of blond hair from her eyes and wiped the tears away. She sniffed a few times and Johnny held a tissue for her to blow her nose into. "Better?" He asked.

She shook her head violently. "NO! It's not better. You're leaving and Daddy and Chris are going away, too. It's not fair." She mourned as she began to cry again.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm just going home and your Dad and Chris will be back in a couple days." Johnny tried to console her.

"I don't want you to go Uncle Johnny. We were supposed to help you make some new rememories so you would feel better. We haven't got a chance to do that yet." Jenny explained as she continued sobbing.

"Hang on, Princess. What is this about 'rememories'?" The confused man asked.

Jenny sighed and blew her nose again. "Mommy said you were sad cuz' of your rememories. So, I told her we just have to help you get some happy ones." The girl had stopped crying and was intent on her mission.

Johnny shook his head side-to-side while trying to understand. He had learned to understand "kid speak", but this was different. "Do you mean 'memories', Jen?" He tried to understand.

"Yes. Mommy said that when you remember the bad things, you get sad again. So, I just wanted to help you remember the good things…make new rememories." The child kept saying the wrong word. Johnny gave up trying to correct her and continued.

"Well, Princess, your Mom is right…I have some bad…um…rememories, but as time passes, I will get better, I promise." Johnny hoped he wasn't lying to his 'best girl.'

"But, I wanted us to all go somewhere with you and help you have some good things to remember." Jenny continued her pleading. Johnny was sucked into the plan without even knowing how it happened.

"Okay, Princess. How 'bout you and I go camping for a night out at my place. We will cook out, sleep in the tent in our sleeping bags, and roast some marshmallows. I will bring you back when your Dad and Chris come home. That sound good to you?" He said, already seeing the child's eyes brightening and a smile taking over her whole face.

"Oh, you mean it Uncle Johnny? Just you and me, not Chris or Daddy?" The girl squealed in delight.

"I mean it…but, only if it is okay with your Dad and Mom. You go ask them and I will finish getting my things together." Johnny prodded. Jenny jumped into her Uncle's lap and hugged him tightly. She kissed his cheek and he smiled. She jumped down to go ask her Parent's permission to go camping with Johnny.

"I missed your smile Uncle Johnny…the real one like I just saw." She said as she raced from the room. Johnny followed her with his eyes as she left and then said quietly to himself…

"I hope your plan works, Princess. Cuz' I could really use some good rememories." He smiled at the word, but it faded as he thought of the men he lost and Greg lying in a coma. "I hope your plan works." He whispered as he got up and left the room.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Rememories – Pt. 8

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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"Johnny, are you sure you are up to this?" JoAnne asked with concern and caring.

"Yeah, Junior, you should go home and try to get some sleep!" Roy chimed in.

Johnny looked tired and he still had some weight to put back on, but he felt better than he'd had in a week. "Roy, Jo…if you don't trust me with Jen, I understand. But, I think that having her there will be a good thing…if you say it's okay." Johnny flashed his 'puppy dog' eyes at JoAnne and she melted.

"Johnny, Jen will love it. If you feel up to it, then it is okay with me." She and Johnny both looked to Roy for the final approval.

"S'ok with me me, Johnny…I just don't know if you realize what you're getting into. Jen alone is a force to be reckoned with. You usually have Jo, Chris or me to buffer, but you will be on your own against her charms, my Friend." Roy teased as he gave his consent for the camping trip.

"Don't worry…after the crying fest I just witnessed, I know what you're talking about. She's got me twisted around her little finger, and I am pretty sure she knows it." Johnny smiled…a true, genuine smile. And, Roy and JoAnne knew that this was a good decision. "We'll stay at the house tonight. We will hike up to the site tomorrow and camp tomorrow night. We will plan to be back here about the time you and Chris are due back." Johnny set out the plan.

"She will love it, Johnny. I will go help her pack her bag. Roy, can you get her sleeping bag from the hall closet please?" JoAnne asked as she walked off down the hall toward Jenny's room. The two men stood facing one another and both grinned when they heard the joyous screeches of Jenny when her mother told her the news.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Junior." Roy teased again as he went to find Jenny's sleeping bag and backpack.

"_I hope so, too_." Johnny thought to himself. But said, "You just better worry about what your wife is gonna do here alone for two days." Johnny quipped as he picked up the bag in the hall and carried it out to his waiting Rover.

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The next morning was beautiful. Chris and Roy got on the road early to go to a favorite fishing hole just outside the city. They had been there with Johnny and on their own many times over the years. When they arrived they made camp and quickly broke out the fishing gear. The breeze made ripples on the water as they sat, lazily on the shore waiting for a bite or a nibble.

"Why does it seem the fish bite more when Uncle Johnny's with us, Dad?" Chris asked his Father, a little exasperated from waiting.

"I dunno, Son. Maybe he has some kind of telepathic powers and tells the fish to come bite our hooks." Roy joked with his Son. It had the affect he wanted when Chris burst out laughing. After a short time, Chris became somber again.

"Dad, do you think Uncle Johnny will ever be happy again?" Chris queried. Roy looked at Chris. He was nearly twelve years old and had the soul of an older, wiser man. He smiled with pride and answered.

"Bad things happen, Chris. You know that. You know how dangerous our job can be. Well, now that we are Captains, it is a little harder to deal with the responsibility of those dangers when it comes to those who serve under us. When one of our men is hurt or dies…well…it's hard. Johnny is dealing with a lot right now. But, yes, he will be happy again. It might just take a little while, that's all." Roy was honest. Chris nodded his understanding and added his own comment.

"Bet, he can't help but laugh when he pulls out Jenny's Hello Kitty sleeping bag tonight on their camping trip." He joked. They both laughed and then were distracted as they felt the gentle tugs on their fishing lines. "I think I got one, Dad!" Chris cried out.

"Me, too!" Roy joined in. Both forgot their discussion about Johnny and Jenny's camping trip.

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After spending the morning cleaning the stalls and getting reacquainted with his horses, Cimmeron and Osceola, Johnny got his pack ready for the hike to where he and Jenny would camp. He planned to get there by mid-afternoon, camp overnight, do some nature hiking the next day, and then return Jenny to her home that following afternoon before supper.

Jenny spent a lazy morning watching Abby tend to her puppies and talking to the horses about what she and Johnny would do on their camping trip. "I wish you could go Abiaka." Jenny told Johnny's beloved malamute. "But, since you have to take care of your babies, Uncle Johnny said you can stay here." The little girl spent the next hour thinking of names for the five puppies Abby was now nursing.

It was just after lunch that they set out to the camping site between his and Bailey's property. Johnny was walking about 10 steps behind Jenny on the trail that had been forged the many trips they had taken to the same spot over the years. It was about a five-mile hike and Jenny was a good trooper. She had only asked about twenty questions and they had been walking for about an hour.

"What kind of tree is this, Uncle Johnny?" Jenny asked with anticipation. She was trying very hard to keep him from thinking about anything bad, only what they were doing now. Johnny smiled and answered.

"That is an oak tree, too, Princess." Johnny quickly said. He had a hard time being short with her. Had he not gotten some decent shut-eye the night before, he might have been aggravated. Johnny took a deep, cleansing breath. He loved the outdoors and felt that Jenny just might be right. "_This is good medicine_." He thought to himself as he heard Jenny ask another question. "Hey, Peanut, I missed that. What did you say?" He had been lost in his thought.

"I asked how you know all this stuff, Uncle Johnny." She asked as she slowed for him to catch up to her. He walked up beside her and put a gentle hand on top of her head and tousled her hair. It was a gesture mostly reserved for Chris, but it seemed warranted.

"Jen, c'mon, you have heard these stories so many times YOU could probably tell them." He reflected to the many times he had told them about how his Father had taught him about the outdoors and all sorts of animals before he died. "My Dad taught me most of the things I know and the rest, I taught myself." He said. Just then, he heard a loud bang that caused Jenny to scream and jump. He looked around to find the source of the noise as he reassured his young charge.

"S'ok, Precious. Must be Mr. Bailey is all. He might be shooting at a coyote or something. Let's move on. We need to get there soon." The two continued walking, Jenny staying much closer to her Uncle since she heard the gunfire. Johnny realized for the first time in a long time that he was actually hungry. "_Guess I must've worked up an appetite will all this hiking_." He thought to himself as they continued their journey.

Maybe Jenny's idea was proving to be a good one after all.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Rememories – Pt. 9

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny had called the hospital before they set out on their hike. He talked with Dr. Brackett to let him know that he had gotten a good night's sleep and ate breakfast. He didn't tell him that it was just an egg and a cup of coffee. He also talked to Dr. Early who shared that there had been no change in Greg's condition. It looked like the family was going to make a decision to disconnect the vent later that day.

Johnny looked up through the trees as they approached the spot they would camp and thought to himself, "_I guess that means another funeral soon_." Sadness marred his features as he was shaken from his reverie with another scream from Jenny.

"What, what is it, Jen. What's wrong?" He pulled her to him and looked her up and down for injury or harm. He was still looking when she told him.

"Look, Uncle Johnny. Do you think that's why we heard the gun go off earlier?" Jenny asked sadly as she pointed at the dead carcass lying on the ground. Johnny stood to go look at the corpse.

"_Who would do this_?" He thought to himself before answering Jenny. "No, Jenny, this animal has been dead for a long time. It's a wolf. I haven't seen one around in a few months. But, we can still hear 'em at night. Abby likes to listen to them and answer 'em back every now and then. I'd say those puppies she's watchin' after now might have a wolf for a daddy." He reasoned as he threw off his pack and attempted to cover the animal with dirt and vegetation.

"Why would someone do that?" Jenny cried.

"I don't know, Jen. Someone killin' for the fun of it, I guess. But, I didn't think this was happening out here. This is where Bailey's property and mine meet…there shouldn't be anyone out here 'cept us." He glanced around as he finished with the make-shift burial. He grabbed his pack and went back to the little girl.

"Jen, if you wanna go back, we can. That is not a very nice thing to see and if you're scared, we can go back to the house and just camp out on the living room floor." Johnny offered. He was certain the animal had been dead for days and did not think there was anything to fear from whoever killed it. "_They're long gone by now_." Johnny thought as he awaited Jenny's answer.

"We're almost there, aren't we?" She asked, timidly. He could tell she was frightened, but wanted to press onward.

"Yes, we are. But, it's up to you, Peanut." Johnny coaxed.

Jenny sighed deeply as she looked at the mound that was the carcass. She shook her head determinably and said, "No, I don't want to go back. We are here to make some new rememories for you and that is what we'll do." She said as she marched ahead of him on the trail.

"You mean, memories, Jen. M-e-m-o-r-i-e-s." He had corrected her several times the night before their trip and she still said the word incorrectly.

"That's what I said." The girl argued. Johnny shrugged his shoulders. As he watched her forge on ahead of him, he thought of how she was growing up and getting older.

"Who am I to argue with a woman?" He mumbled and moved on up the path. His thoughts of Greg were pushed aside for the time being.

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At home JoAnne was enjoying her day without any children or husband. She had cleaned the house from top to bottom; something she actually enjoyed doing. And, she sat now marveling at how it had stayed clean for the entire afternoon. No children to track in dirt. No husband to drop his clothes on the floor. No Johnny to eat and leave crumbs behind. She was enjoying the clean house…but, missed them all terribly. She wondered how Chris and Roy were getting along on their fishing trip and how Johnny and Jenny were doing camping. She decided she would distract herself by taking a long, hot bath and reading a book.

"After all," She muttered aloud, "They will all be back tomorrow afternoon."

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Chris and Roy cleaned and grilled two large bass that they caught. They had also caught six smaller trout and they were saving those for breakfast the next day. "Mmmm…Dad, that was good." Chris said as he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. Roy grimaced at the act, knowing his wife would abhor the manners their child just displayed, but they were camping after all.

As Roy parroted his son's gesture, he agreed. "Yes, it was mighty fine. What do you want to with the rest of the day Chris? More fishin'? We could always take some home with us and maybe, give some to Johnny, too." Chris agreed with the thought and as they prepared their gear for another trip to the water, Chris paused a moment.

"What's wrong, Sport?" Roy asked as he noticed Chris' hesitation. Chris went practically white at Roy's expression.

"Why'd you call me Sport? Uncle Johnny is the one who always calls me that?" Chris seemed almost frightened as Roy tried to find out why.

"I call you that, too, Chris, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Roy put a hand on his son's wrist and began to time out his pulse. His heart was racing.

"I dunno, Dad. I just have a bad feeling all the sudden. Like something's not right. I didn't know what it was and then you called me 'Sport' like Uncle Johnny does…it feels like something's wrong with Uncle Johnny, Dad." Chris sat down as Roy coaxed and continued to monitor Chris' respirations.

"Just settle down, Son. I'm sure Johnny and your sister are fine." Roy assured the boy. "You're probly just feeling a little upset over what happened the other day when Johnny said he didn't feel like goin' fishin' just yet. But, now he's out camping with Jen." Roy suggested. "You need to calm your breathing. Take a couple deep breaths." Chris did as his Father said. "Okay now?" Roy asked as he determined his Son was calming down.

"Yeah. I don't know, Dad… maybe I am feelin' upset. But, I'm not mad about him goin' with Jen, Dad." The boy explained. "I guess maybe I'm still worried about 'im. I've never seen Uncle Johnny like this, Dad. Have you?"

"Johnny feels things a bit 'deeper' than other people do. It will take some time for him to get over this, but he will. Do you understand what I'm saying, Son?" Chris nodded at his Father. He got up from the stump and collected the things again and started walking to the water. "I wish it was that easy to get Johnny to understand." Roy muttered as he followed behind his Son. He fleetingly wondered how Jenny and Johnny were doing on their camping trip.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Rememories – Pt. 10

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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It was just late afternoon when Johnny got the tent and sleeping bags all set up. He had set up camp and got the fire going first thing. Jenny got the food out for their supper…ham sandwiches…and, put one on her plate and two on Johnny's. She smiled as she called, "Uncle Johnny, supper's ready." Johnny smiled as he exited the tent and zipped the closure. He shivered slightly as the chill of the evening set in on the two campers.

"Here, Jen, put your jacket on." He said as he tossed it on the ground near her. She quickly shrugged into the pink windbreaker. "Good, girl. It's gonna be a little cool tonight…down in the 50's. I'm hungry, what did you make?" He asked, already knowing the answer for he had been the one to pack the meal preparations.

"Ham sanwiches." Jenny said proudly. "I made two for you Uncle Johnny." Johnny walked over and sat next to the fire and Jenny joined him at his right side, handing him his plate.

"Two for me, huh?" Johnny asked begrudgingly. He wasn't really that hungry, but would eat all she served so as not to disappoint her. She watched with delight as he ate everything on his plate. It was not usually hard for Johnny to eat a big meal, but when he was sad or upset, it seemed his appetite was the first thing to suffer. He sighed deeply as he finished the last bite.

"Want another one?" Jenny squealed.

"NO!...uh, No, I've had enough, Princess." Johnny answered. They cleaned up their dishes and Jenny sat quietly reading by the fire. During dinner, they had heard a few more pops that sounded like fireworks and Johnny thought to himself, "_I wonder who's making all that racket_." He shrugged it off as he went to gather a few more logs to keep the fire burning until they went to bed. There were yet marshmallows to roast, after all.

When he returned, Johnny dropped the wood near the fire and brushed his hands on his pants. The sun had just begun to set and the woods were becoming darker. They heard the distant bay of a wolf and Jenny shivered a bit. "Nothing to fear, Princess. That's probly Abby's beau calling to her and the pups." Johnny teased as he smiled. "Remember what I told you about wolves, Princess?" Johnny asked.

"Yes, you said that some Indians believe that wolves carry the spirits of dead people with them. And, when they cry like that, they are just trying to tell their loved ones they are okay and that they are watching from the other side." The girl recalled almost word-for-word the story Johnny told her years ago.

"That's right." He proudly encouraged. He allowed a thought to cross his mind and it was Jenny who gave it words.

"Uncle Johnny…you think that those firemen who died are trying to tell you they are okay and they're watching over you?" Jenny quickly thought better of what she said and turned to see her Uncle's face. Johnny feigned cheer.

"Probly, Peanut. You're probly right." Johnny said with a melancholy tone. Jenny tried to change the subject quickly.

"Tell me a story, Uncle Johnny…please tell me a story." She begged as she put her arms around herself and shivered against the evening breeze.

"You cold, Princess?" Johnny moved toward her and took his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders before she had a chance to answer. He moved to sit next to her and said, "You've heard all my stories, Jen…I don't have any that you haven't heard yet." He teased. The girl started to whine a bit and Johnny gave in promptly. "Okay, but after the story…bedtime." Jenny, though she did not feel tired, agreed to the terms.

Johnny told a story that Jenny had indeed heard before, but she was rapt with awe nonetheless. She coaxed him into telling two more stories and it was well into the night. The little girl yawned as the fire had begun to burn lower. "We didn't roast marshmallows." She said as another yawn escaped. She had snuggled close to Johnny for warmth and comfort. He almost hated to move her for he found that he was comforted as well.

"Well, Princess, that'll hafta wait for next time. You need to get to bed." He regretfully nudged Jenny up and she swayed due to her fatigue. He gently put his arm around her torso and lifted her into his arms. "C'mere, Peanut." He said as he walked to the tent. "Won't be long till you're too big for me to do this." He commented.

"Never, Uncle Johnny…I'll never be too big." She sighed as she drifted off to sleep just moments after Johnny put her down. He regarded the child before him as she zipped her into the sleeping bag. He thought for a minute to get his jacket from her, but did not want to wake her. He decided to leave it since he would only be up for a little while longer himself. Once he was sure that Jenny was sleeping peacefully, he moved out of the tent and zipped the closure. He again shivered against the chill of the night air, but moved next to the fire to fight it off.

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JoAnne had settled onto the couch with the daily newspaper in hand. She brewed herself a cup of hot tea and was going to read the paper before going to bed. The house was still and quiet as she took a deep breath and opened to the local news stories.

JoAnne was always amazed at how people treated each other. Roy and Johnny saw the seedier side of life far more than she did. They had become almost numb to the some of the horrible things that people did. She hoped that would never happen to her or her children. She read an article about a man who had beaten his wife and child so severely that the woman would never be able to have any more children. "That's horrible." JoAnne said aloud to the empty room. She read on.

The final story she read was about some random gunfire that had been heard at many homes in the hills surrounding Los Angeles. The authorities investigated and found several dead animal carcasses and some minor property damage, but they did not have any idea who was doing all this. Several farmers and other landowners reported hearing "fireworks" and "pops", but did not realize it was gunfire until they found the dead animals or the bullet holes in their fences and barn walls.

"It seems that this could just be some teenagers out for some thrill seeking." The sheriff was quoted. "We are taking all reports seriously and tracking down all leads. We just hope to find whoever it is before someone gets hurt."

JoAnne felt a moment of unease when she realized some of the reports had been up near where Johnny lived. When the phone rang, she was shaken the thought. "DeSoto residence." She answered.

"JoAnne, I'm sorry to call so late, but this is Joe Early. Is Roy there?" Dr. Early asked.

"No, Dr. Early. He and Chris are on a fishing trip. They will be back tomorrow afternoon. Do you want me to have him call you?"

"Well, I am really trying to reach Johnny. There's no answer at his place and I thought Roy might know where he is." Dr. Early replied.

"Oh, well, I can help you there. Johnny took our daughter, Jenny, camping out on his property. They are due back here the same time Roy and Chris get back…before dinner time tomorrow." JoAnne clarified.

He heard Dr. Early sigh and then he continued. "Can you have Johnny call me as soon as you see him tomorrow? I have some news to share with him."

"I hope it is good news, Dr. Early. Cuz' Johnny sure could use some after all that's happened." She shared.

"I can't tell you much, JoAnne, but I think it will be good news to Johnny…I'm just not sure how he'll react."

"I will have him call as soon as he gets in. I promise." JoAnne said. They bid their good-byes and she hung up the phone. She said a pray for Johnny and Greg Daniels as she turned off the lights and went to the bedroom. When she lay down in bed, she had all but forgotten about the news article she had read.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Rememories – Pt. 11

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny sat by the fire relishing its warmth against the cool of the night. As he watched the flames lick the sides of the log he had just placed on the fire, he allowed his thoughts to drift back to Greg Daniels. He then heard a lone wolf's cry and thought aloud, "Wonder if that's you, Greg?" He added a half-laugh and a forced smile to his thought. He wished he knew if Greg was alive or dead, but that would have to wait until tomorrow when he returned to the ranch with Jenny. He told himself he would call as soon as they arrived to the house. He would make that call before showering, before eating, and before taking Jenny home. He had to know what had become of his Paramedic.

After sitting for a few more minutes, Johnny got up and walked over to the supply bag. He pulled out the small kettle he used to boil water over the fire. He began the short walk to the creek bank to fill the kettle so he would have hot water in the morning for his coffee. The moon was almost full and it was enough to light his path. He did not want to take the chance of waking Jenny to get the flashlight from his backpack.

The night chill and cool breeze brushed across his neck and face. He still had on a long sleeve flannel shirt and a t-shirt under that. So, he was mostly protected for the cool of the night. The creek's edge was just about 30 feet from the campsite and he took a deep breath as he knelt to fill the kettle from the edge of the small boulder on which he was standing.

Something caught his attention across the creek and he diverted his eyes to that area. He thought he saw movement. He watched closely and realized that something was across the creek…maybe watching him. He stood and called out, "Hey, who's there?" He placed the lid on the kettle as he awaited a response.

He wasn't sure what happened first, but he heard a loud "pop" and felt like he got stung by a bee in his back. He dropped the kettle and grabbed at his back just as he tumbled down. He called, "Jenny", before the darkness claimed him.

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She wasn't sure what woke her. She had been sleeping so soundly. Jenny always liked how warm and safe she felt inside her sleeping bag. She turned to her left to find that Johnny was not in his sleeping bag next to her. This was not unusual. She knew that adults often stayed up way past the time children went to bed. She yawned again and turned onto her side.

After only a few moments of listening to the sound of the creek flowing, the gentle baying of a far-away wolf and the chirping of the bugs, she drifted off to a peaceful slumber again.

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He was cold. No, better assessment would be that he was freezing cold. Johnny heard the water rushing around him and felt the cold trickling around his back and arms. He was on his back and half of him was in the creek and half of him was on the bank. He looked up at the sky and noticed that the stars and moon had shifted. According to rough calculations, about two hours had passed since he'd last looked at the sky and that was before he knelt to fill the coffee pot.

It took him a few minutes to gain his bearings. He knew he was in the woods and, for some reason, in the water. But, it did not yet register how he got where he now was. He began his self-assessment starting at his head. He reached his right hand up, feeling a slight twinge in his lower back when he did. He found a bump behind his right ear and, shortly afterward, the rock that had likely been the culprit. He moved the rock away and allowed his head to rest in the dirt. He felt in his hair near the bump, but could not tell right away if it was blood or water.

He moved his hand down across to his left arm, chest and torso. He tried to slowly sit up and found that it was nearly impossible due to his uncontrollable shivering. His teeth chattered so loudly that he thought it sounded like a woodpecker on a tree. Finally, sitting upright, he could see how he was situated. His entire right side was in the flowing water of the creek bank. He remembered feeling a pain in his back and moved his arm around to see if he could find out what happened.

Feeling around his lower back, there was some discomfort, but no real pain per se. He was feeling a bit nauseated and thought he might vomit if he did not lie down again soon. He thought briefly of calling for Jenny, but until he was certain his condition, he knew he would just frighten her. He decided to try to stand up, even though his legs felt numb. "_Is numb the word_?" Johnny thought. He knew that the right leg, being submerged in the cold water of the running creek would likely be numb. But, the other leg, though fairly dry, had the same "dead" feeling.

He was close to panic when he finally tried to stand and his legs would not move. He stared at them…willed them to move…and, they remained still. He gathered his wits and thought about what happened again. He spoke aloud to further calm himself.

"I was standing and looking across the creek." His eyes returned to the spot where he thought he saw something moving. "I felt a sharp pain in my back and fell down. Huh? What the hell happened?" Johnny continued to wonder. He moved his hand to his back once again and felt around. He ran his fingers up and down and finally found what had caused him to fall. About 3 centimeters to the right of his spine, he found a hole…a bullet hole. "Someone shot me?" He questioned, still talking aloud to himself. "What the hell?" He moved quicker than he should have and vomited. The exertion from the force of the vomiting should have triggered great pain for a gunshot victim, but Johnny was not feeling much pain.

"Probly hypothermia." He guessed. "I've got to get outta this water." After what seemed like hours, he positioned himself to be able to pull with his arms. He took some deep breaths and pulled with all his strength. The weight he had lost over the past week made the process a bit easier. Once he pulled himself, using only his upper body, from the water, he was completely exhausted. He sighed deeply and wondered again if he should call for Jenny.

"_I'll just rest a bit, first. Then I will call her_." Johnny thought as sleep overtook him.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Rememories – Pt. 12

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny couldn't stop shivering. He believed he could see the burning embers from the fire at their campground, but he just couldn't reach it. He had only crawled about 6 or 8 feet before he passed out again. He hadn't made very good progress and did not want to call out to Jenny unless he felt there was absolutely no other choice. He thought to himself before he fell asleep again, "_We were supposed to make some good rememories this trip…I don't want her to remember me like this if I can help it._" He smiled as he used Jenny's made-up word and then closed his eyes again.

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"Dad, are you still awake?" Chris whispered loudly. Roy shifted in his sleeping bag as he answered.

"Yeah, but you shouldn't be."

"I was thinkin' that maybe we could leave a little earlier in the morning and go to Uncle Johnny's to tend to the animals before he and Jenny get back. Then we could all have dinner together and he won't hafta worry about the chores." Chris was resolute in his idea.

Roy smiled in the darkness. He loved how his children often thought of others before themselves. "You sure, Chris. We'd have to leave right after breakfast to make it there in time to get all the chores done before Jenny and Johnny get back."

"I'm sure, Dad. Is it okay if we do it?" Chris pleaded.

"Yes, Son. It's fine. We will leave right after breakfast. We will surprise them both when they get back. Now, go to sleep, Christopher." Roy sighed.

Usually when Roy called him Christopher, he was in trouble. But, he knew his Dad was just tired and wanted to sleep. Chris rolled over on his side and smiled contentedly. He could not wait to wake the next day and put the plan into motion. "_I'll help you make some good rememories for Uncle Johnny, Sis_." He thought as he drifted to sleep.

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Johnny heard a strange noise and it brought him to awareness once again. He could feel something warm on his face. He thought for a moment that maybe Jenny had woken, found him, and was now applying a warm cloth to his wounds. He tried to adjust himself to see if it was Jenny and whatever it was that was warming him moved away. It was still dark and the moon had dipped below the trees so there was little light showing. But, he knew someone or something was there. He ventured, "Jenny, Princess, s'that you?"

There was no answer and he turned a bit more and tried to focus his eyes. He saw two eyes glowing in the darkness and realized that he was face-to-face with a wolf. He took a ragged deep breath and thought to himself, "_I wonder if this guy thinks he's found himself an easy meal_?" He had encountered wildlife before when he hiked in these woods, but he had never been in such a vulnerable position. Johnny had to act fast to protect himself and Jenny, if she should wake up and come to find him.

He thought about running, but much to his chagrin, his legs still weren't working. He used both hands to grab fistfuls of dirt and rocks. He hoped that the wolf would retreat when he threw the debris. Just as he got ready to throw the rocks and pebbles, something happened that caused Johnny to stop.

"Gage, c'mon, are you really gonna throw those rocks at me?" The wolf asked. Johnny was shocked and remained still for longer than he felt he should. He found it difficult to regain control of his senses. "S'okay, Gage…you are gonna be okay. Would the Phantom ever steer you wrong?" The wolf mocked.

The Phantom. That was Chet Kelly's alter-ego while serving at Station 51. The prankster often chose Johnny as his Pigeon. "What the hell?" Johnny said aloud. "Chet?" He questioned as his voice raised a few octaves.

"Yeah, who the hell else were you expecting? God? Satan? Daniels?" Chet, the wolf, remarked. Johnny shook his head as if to clear it from a hallucination or dream.

"I must be dreaming. Or…no…I probly have a concussion from the bump on my head. That's it." Johnny reasoned.

"With that hard head of yours, Gage, I doubt you have a concussion. Hey, don't you believe the things that you tell Roy's kids? All those stories, folk tales, Indian lore…don't you believe any of it?" Chet asked, accusingly.

"What? Yeah, well…sure I believe it…well, some of it…what the hell are you talking about?" Johnny was angry and his voice was raised. Suddenly, Johnny knew what the wolf meant. "You mean what Jenny and I were talkin' about today? How the souls of those we've lost live inside wolves?" He tried to reason.

"Yep, that's it Gage. And, that is why I'm here. I'm tryin' to tell ya to get on with your life. I know it was hard on you to lose those men…hell, it was hard on Cap when I bought the farm, right?" Chet cackled. "But, you're a Captain now, Johnny. Your men are depending on you to lead them through this tragedy…not become a victim of it yourself."

Johnny nodded. What the wolf…uh…Chet…was saying made sense. "You're right." Johnny nodded. "I've been thinking too much about myself and not enough about my men. I have to think about my crew and be there for them." Johnny could feel this thoughts clearing and felt a renewed sense of determination and vigor. He was not going to let Jameson and Baker…and, maybe Daniels…deaths be in vain. He would not let this crush him or his Station. They would rise from the ashes… and, they would continue doing what they loved!

Johnny turned his head to talk to Chet again, but the wolf had gone. He looked toward camp and with his renewed strength, began pulling himself toward the fading fire once again.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Rememories – Pt. 13

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Roy and Chris were nearly to Johnny's and Chris was like a kid at Christmas. He was moving in the seat like he had ants in his pants. "What has gotten into you, Son?" Roy asked as they turned down the road toward Johnny ranch.

"I'm just excited to get to help Uncle Johnny is all, Dad." Chris remarked. He barely waited for the car to stop before he opened his door and jumped out.

"Hey, Christopher," there was his full name again, "Settle down. We've got plenty of time before they get back." Roy said as he got out of the car, too. "You go check on Abby and the horses and I will go in the house to see what needs to be done there." His words fell on deaf ears as Chris had already begun running to the barn. Roy smiled and made his way to the house.

Before he got to the door, he heard another vehicle approach. He turned to find Mr. Bailey, Johnny's neighbor, driving up in his truck. Roy turned on his heel to meet Mr. Bailey.

"Hey, there." Bailey greeted Roy as he got out from his vehicle. "Good ta see ya, Roy. Is John around anywhere's?" Bailey asked.

"Hello, Mr. Bailey. No, Johnny's not here. My son and I are doing the chores while we wait for Johnny and my daughter, Jenny, to return from camping." Roy updated the man who was Johnny's nearest neighbor. Bailey's eyes fell and he seemed distracted. "Is there something I can help you with, Bailey?" Roy offered.

Bailey took off his hat and scratched his head. The man was not really that much older than Roy, but his life had been one of grueling hard work and the labor showed in his graying hair and rough skin. "No, it's just…" Bailey began. "Well, I don't want to cause no alarm, but I heard some shootin' in the woods the past coupla nights and last night 'specially. I was gonna ask John if he heard it, too. Been a few incidents of vandalism and such up here. I just wanted to check with John is all."

Roy bristled. He was a worrier at heart and, with his daughter in those woods; he was now on high alert. "You sure they were gunshots, Bailey? Maybe you just heard some firecrackers or something?" Roy suggested as he hoped the man would agree.

Bailey shook his head back and forth. "Nope. I know gunshots when I hear 'em. And, those was gunshots I heard. I called the Sheriff and he said he'd get out here with a coupla rangers to check things out. They should be here soon." Both Roy and Bailey turned as they heard the sound of tires crushing gravel. As if on cue, Bailey waved to the approaching county vehicles…a sheriff cruiser and a ranger pick-up. After some quick introductions, Bailey began to tell the law enforcement officers where he heard the gunshots.

"Up 'round where my property butts up against Johns…'bout four or five miles walk from here." Bailey explained. Roy's face went white and his knees became weak.

"That's where Johnny takes the kids camping…he and Jenny are probly there right now. We've got to get up there." Roy considered calling JoAnne, but thought better of it since they were yet unsure if Jenny and Johnny were even at that campsite or hurt by any of the shots.

"Hold on, now, Mr. DeStoto." The Sheriff began.

"Please, call me Roy." He interrupted.

"Okay, Roy. We can't be sure your friend and daughter are even up there where the shots were fired…or, if the shots were even fired in the vicinity that Mr. Bailey reports. In woods this thick, sound travels differently…it bounces off different trees and rocks and you can't really pinpoint the exact area of a sound." The Sheriff reasoned.

Bailey huffed and mumbled, "I been out here for mosta my life…you think I don't know what I hear and where I hear it?" under his breath. The men ignored him.

"Look, Sheriff, I am a Captain for the Los Angeles County Fire Department. I am also still certified as a Paramedic. I can get Johnny's kit from the house and go with you. Just in case anyone is hurt, I can treat them until help arrives. You have two-way radios, right?" Roy announced and asked.

"Yes." The Ranger reported. "If it's only four or five miles, we can make that in 30 or 40 minutes, depending on the pace we keep with our packs on." Bailey drew a crude map for the Ranger and Sheriff. Roy knew where they were going as he was certain Johnny would take Jenny where they had always camped before. Roy informed Chris of what was going on, and told him to stay with Bailey and continue the chores.

"Don't call Mom, yet!" He ordered his Son. "They are probly just fine and I don't want her to worry." Chris hugged his Father and waved as he left with the Ranger and Sheriff.

"Mr. Bailey?" Chris sighed.

"Yeah, Son."

"Jenny wanted to help Uncle Johnny make some new memories…she calls 'em rememories…cuz' of what happened last week. Two linemen from his Station were killed in a building explosion. He's been really sad ever since. Jenny and I wanted to help him be happy again. That's why I wanted to come here early today to do the chores and tend the horses. So, he could rest and be happy." Chris felt hot tears forming in his eyes. "If somethin's happened to Jenny or Uncle Johnny…well, it would ruin everything."

Bailey took a step and nudged Chris. "Hey, we don't know that anything bad happened. If somethin' happened to your sister, don't you think John would have brought her home by now?" Chris nodded his head affirmatively. "Alright, then, let's get back to those chores. What you got done so far?" Bailey diverted Chris from his gloomy thoughts. As they walked toward the barn, Chris gave Bailey a full report on all that he had accomplished so far.

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Jenny yawned herself awake. She lay sleepily in her bag, relishing the warmth inside. She never liked getting up in the morning when they camped. The cool of the morning would always be a shock to her system. She turned over to see if her Uncle was still asleep. She had not heard him come in last night, but that was not uncommon. She was a hard sleeper and it took a lot to wake her up.

She peered out from her sleeping bag and noticed that Johnny's bedroll did not look like it had been slept in at all. His backpack and the flashlight still lie on top of his sleeping bag; exactly where they had been the night before. She smiled at the thought that Johnny probably fell asleep next to the fire. She knew he would rather sleep under the stars than in a tent, but he acquiesced since Jenny did not favor sleeping outside. She yawned once more and stretched her arms and got out of her sleeping bag.

She unzipped the tent and stepped out into the sunlight. As she zipped the closure, she realized she had to go to the restroom. She stepped behind some bushes and trees where Johnny had made a place for just that purpose and relieved herself. Feeling much more comfortable, she took a deep breath of the morning air and called out for "Uncle Johnny!"

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Rememories – Pt. 14

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny's eyes popped wide open when he heard Jenny call for him. He had pulled himself as far as he could and he was just on the edge of the campsite. "Jenny, I'm over here." He called out to her. He was still shivering and felt like his body temperature would never return to normal. He had relished the warmth of the morning sun, but it did nothing to warm his chilled bones. "Bring my sleeping bag, will you Princess?" He called to her, hoping to not alarm her.

Jenny took about ten steps in the direction of Johnny's voice and then she stopped. She wanted to scream, to run, to forget all about what she just saw, but her love for her Uncle overrode all those senses and she rushed to his side. "What happened, Uncle Johnny?" She asked as her tears began to flow. "How bad are you hurt?"

He had managed to roll over onto his back, so she was unable to see the blood that undoubtedly flowed from the bullet wound. She could see blood on his face and his body was covered in mud and dirt. He was shivering violently. "Just get my sleeping bag, Princess. I need to get warmed up here, and then we can take care of the rest, okay?" He tried to sound matter-of-fact and not let his distress show. He thought it worked when her tears dried quickly and she went to the tent.

Johnny was within about three feet of the fire pit he had made the day before. He scooted the best he could to get closer now. The fire had now died out and all that was left were cold, dark ashes. He needed to get warm…the sleeping bag would help…but, he needed the fire. Jenny returned with the bag and she knelt beside Johnny to help wrap him into it. "Lift your legs, Uncle Johnny. I will slip it underneath you and then zip it up on the other side."

"_If only it were that easy, Kiddo_." He thought. "It's hard for me to move my legs, Jen. If I can get rolled onto my side, can you shove it under me?" He asked through chattering teeth. Jenny nodded agreeably. Johnny maneuvered himself with his arms and torso and he finally was able to turn onto his side. When he did, he heard Jenny draw in a deep breath.

"You're bleeding, Uncle Johnny." She cried out. "Why are you bleeding?" She pleaded.

Johnny only wanted to be warm right now, so he refocused the child. "Jen, just put the bag under me. I can't hold this position very long, Sweetie. Just put the bag underneath me." He guided as calmly as he could. She did as she was told. He fell back onto the now warm and soft earth. He directed her to help him zip up the side. Before she did, she took off his jacket that he had given her the night before and draped it across his chest.

"Here, this will help, too." She said as she continued with the zipper. Once he was all zipped in, he sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "Don't leave me Uncle Johnny! Please don't leave me!" She cried out as the tears began again. She rocked back and forth as she continued crying.

"'M not gonna leave you, Peanut. I'm just really tired 's all. I will be okay. I promise." His thoughts flew back to the promise he made to his men in the building…the promise that he had broken. He quickly returned to the present and continued to reassure his young charge. "I'm gonna be okay. But, I need your help. Are you ready to help me, Princess?" He asked.

Jenny sniffled and wiped her tears away. "Yes, Uncle Johnny. Tell me what you need me to do." She said. He looked at her with pride in his eyes. He could be no more proud if she was his own daughter.

"How much blood did you see on my back?" He started with the worst part to get it over with. Like ripping a Band-Aid off a wound.

She shuddered at the thought, but answered. "The back of your shirt at the bottom and the top of your jeans are covered in it." She fought the urge to vomit and swallowed hard.

"Okay, now I need you to start a fire. There should be some kindling over by the wood pile. The matches are in my…" Johnny thought, "_Oh, shit, the matches were in my pocket when I fell in the creek_." He though fast. "Okay, Jen, go in the tent and look in the small pocket on the side of my pack. There should be some dry matches there." Jenny went to collect the items needed to start a fire.

Her Uncle and Father had taught her how to start a campfire and she had earned a badge in the Brownie Girl Scouts for mastering the feat. She was the only one in her troop that could start a campfire. She took great care in lighting the match. She always turned her head to the side as she struck the match. She remembered that Uncle Johnny told her that pieces of the matches' head could splinter and fly into her eyes, so she should turn away as she struck any match.* The kindling caught fire quickly and she tended it carefully, blowing gently to ensure it continued to burn. She slowly stacked larger pieces onto the growing flame and then a larger log was placed as fuel.

Once she was sure the fire was going, she returned to Johnny's side. He had closed his eyes again and she hoped he was just asleep. She put a gentle hand on his chest to feel his breathing patterns. She was rewarded as he opened his eyes to look at her. "'M okay, Jen. You did a good job with the fire. I can feel it from here."

"Now what, Uncle Johnny?" Jenny asked. Johnny looked into her sad, questioning eyes and answered.

"Now, we wait."

"Wait for what?" The child exclaimed.

"We wait for help to come. I can't walk outta here, and I'm sure not gonna let you go trekking out there on your own…so, we wait. Your Dad and Mom will miss us when we don't show up on time. Your Dad will know where we are and come looking. He will come, Jen. He will come." He encouraged the girl. Johnny looked at the position of the sun.

"It's about 10:00 right now. We're due home around 2:00. They will miss us by 3:00 or 3:30 and come looking. You'll be home in time for dinner at 6:00." Johnny laid out the timeline. He saw Jenny's face fall as she realized how long they would be there. "I have lots of stories that will keep us busy, Princess. Lots of stories…" He trailed off, still shivering.

"But, you're hurt Uncle Johnny. What kind of rememories will you have now? We were 'sposed to have some fun, not this." Jenny cried again. Johnny pulled his right arm from the sleeping bag and put it around the crying child. He drew her close to him and put her head on his chest.

"Anytime I am with you, Peanut, I always have good rememories. Always." He patted her back as she continued to cry into his chest. He was growing warmer and hoped that was a good sign. Jenny slowly started to rock back and forth again while she cried. The rhythm of the movement lulled them both to sleep.

TBC

A/N: The match story is true. A friend of mine in the Girl Scouts lit a match and the head of the match splintered and a burning piece of the matchhead hit her eye! We had to rush to some "backwoods" clinic in the middle of the night to get her treated. Being her best friend and having a badge in First Aid, I had treated her on the way to the clinic! Luckily, there was no long-term damage done, but I bet she still turns her head to the side when lighting a match!


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Rememories – Pt. 15

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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They were half way up the trail and the Ranger began to point out scars on surrounding trees and fence posts caused by gunfire. "This looks like a .22" He remarked as he dug a bullet fragment from a tree and put it in an evidence bag. Roy was a few feet ahead and gave a resolute sigh.

"We'd make better time if you didn't stop every 10 minutes." Roy said the Ranger. The Ranger gave him a sideways glance and asked.

"Look, if this were a suspected arsonist and this tree had burn damage, wouldn't you do the same thing? I just want to find out who's doing all this damage. I am sure your friend and daughter are fine. You said he's a Paramedic, right? If anything happened, he'd know what to do." The Ranger reasoned. But, Roy was beyond reasoning.

"What if something has happened TO Johnny? Then, that means my daughter is out there alone. If there is even a chance of that, I have got to get to them as quickly as I can." Roy countered. Now it was the Ranger's turn to sigh. He nodded his assent and they continued up the trail.

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Waking with a start, Johnny did not know what time it was right away or how long they had been asleep. Jenny was awake and staring at Johnny. Not realizing that help was just minutes away, Johnny put Jenny to work. He sent her to collect some water from the creek. She found the kettle he had taken the night before to fill. She saw the path were he had pulled himself to the campsite. She was looking down as she walked back with the water and noticed other tracks next to her footprints and Johnny's drag markings. She knelt down for a moment and put her hand next to the markings.

Her Uncle had shown her and Chris all types of animal prints and helped them learn to identify them. These markings, if she was right, were the prints of a wolf. And, a rather large one at that when she compared the print to her own hand. She wondered briefly if it was a fresh print or had been there for days. She shrugged her shoulders and continued back to camp. She helped Johnny get a few sips of water so he would not dehydrate. She took a few sips for herself and then put the kettle next to the fire.

She went to collect a couple more logs to keep the fire burning and laid those along with the others Johnny had collected the day before. Once she was done, she went into tent and got her own sleeping bag. She put it over her Uncle since she noticed he was still shivering and she lay down next to him and starting singing a song Johnny used as a lullaby when she was a baby and toddler. It was a song he remembered his Father singing to his Mother. Jenny knew all the words by heart.

"_Have I told you lately that I love you_

_Could I tell you once again somehow_

_Have I told, with all my heart and soul how I adore you_

_Well darlin' I'm tellin' you now._

_This heart would break in two if you refuse me_

_I'm no good without you anyhow_

_Dear have I told you lately that I love you_

_Well darlin' I'm tellin' you now._

_Have I told you lately that I miss you_

_When the stars are shinin' in the sky_

_Have I told you why the nights are long when you're not with me_

_Well darlin' I'm tellin' you now_

_This heart would break in two if you refuse me_

_I'm no good without you anyhow_

_Dear have I told you lately that I love you_

_Well darlin' I'm tellin' you now._

_Have I told you lately when I'm sleepin'_

_Every dream I dream is you somehow_

_Have I told you who I'd like to share my love forever_

_Well darlin' I'm telling you now_

_This heart would break in two if you refuse me_

_I'm no good without you anyhow_

_Dear have I told you lately that I love you_

_Well darlin' I'm tellin' you now. *_

Johnny felt warmth from the fire, from the sleeping bag covering him, and from the little girl who loved him enough to help him make some new rememories and recover from a terrible tragedy. As her singing faded into a gentle hum, he thought, "_Yes, I will be alright…in time…we will all be okay_."

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Roy stopped on the trail. He did it so quickly that the Ranger ran right into him. "What the hell?" The Ranger exclaimed. Roy put his hand up.

"Shhhhh! Listen!" He hissed loudly. They all craned their necks to hear what Roy was listening for. And, it became quite clear moments later when they heard the music riding on the breeze…

_This heart would break in two if you refuse me_

_I'm no good without you anyhow_

_Dear have I told you lately that I love you_

_Well darlin' I'm tellin' you now._

"That's Jenny. That's my daughter!" Roy exclaimed as he began to run on the path toward the camping site. He was relieved that everything was okay. He envisioned Johnny berating him for being such a worry wart as he often did. But, when the three men entered the campsite, he knew he had every reason to worry.

"Daddy!" Jenny screamed and ran to Roy who scooped her up in his arms. "Daddy!" The noise jostled Johnny awake as he had fallen asleep with Jenny's serenade. The Ranger and the Sheriff went to Johnny's side as Roy calmed Jenny.

Seeing Johnny's pale features, the Ranger looked at Roy, summoning him with a glance.

"Daddy, Uncle Johnny got hurt last night and I've been takin' care of 'im till you got here. You sure got here fast. Uncle Johnny said it would be a long time till you came." Jenny began explaining between sobs.

"You did a good job, Jen. Now you stay here a minute and let me go check on Johnny, okay?" Roy motioned for the Sheriff to come stand by Jenny. Roy didn't want her to be alone, even if she was only a few feet from him. He put Jenny down and made his way over to Johnny. He could tell Johnny was hurt or ill immediately from the pallor of his face. He put the emergency pack at Johnny's head and began his assessment.

"Okay, Junior, what have you gotten into this time?" Roy joked and forced a smile. Johnny looked at him through fever-filled eyes and continued the violent shivering.

"I…just…can't…get…warm..." Johnny tried to explain. "I think someone shot me, Roy?" He said, still questioning his own assessment. Roy swiveled his head toward the Ranger.

"When, Johnny? When did this happen?" Roy found the bump on Johnny's head and it made his Friend wince in pain. "Sorry, Junior." He breathed out as he continued his examination.

"Last night…maybe…don't know what time…after…after…Jen…went to…bed." Johnny's breathing was becoming labored and he was in danger of hyperventilating. Roy tried to calm him as much as he could.

"We're here now, Johnny. You're gonna be fine." Roy reassured. "'Where do you think you were shot?"

"My back…felt like…like a big…big bee sting." Johnny breathed between his chattering teeth.

"You're awful hot. You have a fever. Probly infection. Let's turn you over and check this out." Roy motioned to the Ranger to help him. "Johnny don't do anything. The Ranger and I will do all the work."

"Oh…forgot ta tell ya…can't move my legs…Roy…" Roy tried to hide his shock, but Johnny could read his expression. Johnny tried to offer his Friend a grin, but it just wasn't in him. Once they turned him and pulled back the covers, they saw a small bullet hole.

"It's about 3 centimeters to the right of the L3 vertebra. It's not that deep, Johnny, but maybe it is causing some swelling around the spine. That's probly the cause of the paralysis." He was trying to keep upbeat for Johnny and Jenny's sakes, but he was very worried about his Friend. "Sheriff, you wanna get on that radio and let them know we are gonna need a full company out here…stretcher…men to carry 'im out…and, a Squad." The Sheriff made the call. "Be right back, Junior." Roy said.

"Not…going…anywhere…" Johnny teased despite his condition.

Roy walked back to where his daughter was standing. "So, Pumpkin, are you really okay?" Roy said as he started looking her over for injuries again.

Jenny nodded her head sorrowfully. "Yes, Daddy. I'm fine." He smiled at her word usage since that is how Johnny often described his condition—whether it was true or not. "I'm just sad that Uncle Johnny got hurt…when we were s'posed to be making good rememories so he'd be happy again." Roy scooped her into his arms again. He hugged her hard, desperately, as if letting her go he would lose her. He wished he could hold her like that forever.

"Jenny, I'm sure Uncle Johnny will look back on this day and smile because you took such good care of him when he got hurt. That is a good memory, and I am so proud of you, too." Roy tried to cheer his daughter, but she remained heartbroken.

TBC

*words/music of Have I Told You Lately That I Love You by Scott Wiseman (released in 1945); check out .com/watch?v=KApEO_vQez8 for Roy Rogers and Dale Evans' rendition!


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Rememories – Pt. 16

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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"Okay, guys, we have to be careful as we carry 'im out. No jostling or we could cause even more damage if that bullet moves." The Ranger was the one giving the orders now. Roy was with Jenny and, with the help of a couple of the Firemen dispatched, they were getting the last of the campsite taken care of before leaving. The fire had been doused and covered to prevent burning after they left, and the tent and other supplies were all gathered to be carried out, too.

It was strange for Roy to entrust Johnny's care to two other Paramedics he didn't even know all that well. They seemed competent and well-trained. Roy wished that they could go to Rampart and that Dr. Brackett could treat him, but these guys worked out of a new hospital and that was where Johnny would be taken. Roy had been complaining about the hike down and how dangerous it was going to be all the while Johnny was treated and strapped into the stokes. The Engine crew readied to make the hike out with Johnny and they put two men at Johnny's head and two at his feet and lifted the stokes he was now bundled into. "Wait!" The Sheriff cried out.

Everyone halted and turned their attention toward the man. He looked at Roy. "Captain DeSoto." He felt rank was important for this matter. "I just got a radio call from Copter 10, they are on a return run to LA and they will be over our location in three minutes. They are on the way to Rampart General. Do you want them to stop and pick 'im up?" Roy nodded his head furiously at the thought, and then added words to his emotion. "Take 'im to the clearing just through those trees, the Chopper can meet us there." He also told the Paramedics to contact their Base Station to let them know the change.

He walked over to where Johnny was laid out on the stokes. He kneeled down next to him and his clear, blue eyes met Johnny's glossy, brown ones. "Hey, Junior. We're gonna take you to Rampart. You okay with that?" Roy asked. Johnny tried to answer, but he was declining and couldn't get anything out other than,

"…mpart." Through the oxygen mask.

They heard the chopper approach and were there to meet it when it landed. "This will save him the trauma of that hike outta here." Roy reasoned with the Paramedics. "Jen, c'mere. You sit here." He said as he put her in a jump seat and fastened her in tightly. She had never been on a helicopter before. He called to the pilot, "Radio Rampart and tell them to get Dr. Kelly Brackett on the line. I will update 'im once we are in the air." He turned to the others.

"Sheriff, Ranger…thanks for everything you did. I'm gonna fly in with the Paramedics and Johnny. Can you let Mr. Bailey know to take my son, Chris, on home? I will call my wife as soon as we get to Rampart." Both men shook their heads and the Engine crew all nodded their understanding as well. "Thanks for everything guys!" Roy called loudly as the chopper's engines roared for take-off.

"You okay, Honey?" Roy asked Jenny as they started their ascent. She looked at her Father and then to Johnny, and nodded her head.

"I will be okay, Daddy. Just take care of Uncle Johnny." He smiled, thinking that his daughter seemed quite grown up. Then he radioed Brackett to bring the doctor current on Johnny's condition.

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Brackett hung up the phone and shook his head. "Dix, that was Roy. Johnny somehow got shot on that camping trip he took with Roy's daughter. They're bringing him in by helicopter now." Dixie was caught off guard and gasped.

"Johnny?...Shot?...How?" She blurted.

"I don't know details. Just that Squad 87 from Landview General is with 'im and so is Roy. Page, Joe for me will ya, Dix? I'm on my way out to the landing pad to meet them. They should be here in about 10 minutes." Brackett heard Dr. Early paged just as the doors closed behind him.

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Roy worked with the two Paramedics to keep Johnny stable, but the fever was very high and beginning to affect his other organs. As much as Roy tried to get Johnny's attention, Johnny moved in and out of consciousness the entire flight. Just as the chopper landed, Johnny went into respiratory arrest. The men responded quickly to Roy's commands, "Bag 'im. Get that door open and get him on that gurney, Stat."

Brackett took over the barking of orders and Roy watched as Johnny was led away by a cadre of doctors, nurses, and other caregivers. He hated staying behind, but he had to tend to Jenny. He turned back to the chopper and moved to unbuckle his daughter. "C'mon, Honey. Let's get you outta here." Roy said as he pulled her into his arms. She had begun crying again with all the commotion at the end of the flight when Johnny had stopped breathing.

"Is he dead, Daddy? Did Uncle Johnny die?" She cried into Roy's shoulder.

"No, Honey! Johnny's not dead…he just…he just…the doctor's will do their best. Let's go call Mommy, okay. Then I will check and see how Uncle Johnny's doin'." Roy walked into the hospital and put Jenny down. He was met by Dixie.

"Roy, what happened? Is she okay?" Dixie looked at the girl and her father. Roy nodded his answer.

"Yeah, she's alright. I need to call Jo and, do you know where they took Johnny?" Roy asked as he began walking to the doctor's lounge. Dixie filled him in on where Johnny was and what was going on with him. After Roy made his call to Jo, Dixie continued.

"Roy, why don't you go check on Johnny. I can stay here with Jenny."

"Are you sure?" He asked Dixie. Then he asked Jenny, "Honey, can you stay here with Dixie until Mom comes so I can go check on Uncle Johnny?" He knelt next to his daughter.

Jenny nodded her approval and then added, "Tell Uncle Johnny I'm sorry about the bad rememories…" She cried and hugged her Father. He patted her back and then stood. He nodded a "thank you" to Dixie and made his way to see Johnny.

"_Hang in there, Junior. Just hang in there_." Roy willed as he rushed through the halls to Johnny's treatment room.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Rememories – Pt. 17

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Roy entered Treatment Room four and found no one there. He went back into the hall and looked to the left and right to see if he could find where everyone was. A flash of white caught his eye and he looked up to see Brackett. "Doc?" Roy asked, begged.

Brackett put a hand on Roy's shoulder and pushed him alongside as he continued his journey. "We took 'im upstairs, Roy. We've got to get that fever down. We are going to put some cooling blankets on 'im and see if that works. We are prepping and ice bath just in case." Bracket updated.

"He said he couldn't move his legs." Roy reminded Brackett.

"We already got x-rays. Joe is going to look at them once they are in and then we will know more about what's going on. Do you know what the hell happened? How did Johnny get shot?" Brackett wondered.

"I don't know details...only that there has been some random gunfire and vandalism up around his ranch. The Ranger and Sheriff told me that they had a few leads and thought it was some teenagers out for some kicks." Roy railed.

Brackett huffed. "Some kicks!" He turned to face his Friend. "I'm worried, Roy." The Doctor admitted. "With the toll his body has taken the last week or so…the weight loss and physical fatigue…"

"What are you saying, Doc?" Roy worried.

"Let's wait and see what Joe finds and if we can get the fever down." Both men worried for their Friend as they made their way to his side.

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In the Critical Care Unit, Johnny lay on a gurney with cooling blankets surrounding him. He was unresponsive, but was breathing a bit better. Dr. Early was off in a corner reading x-rays when Roy and Brackett arrived. "What's the verdict, Joe?" Brackett asked.

Early startled at the intrusion. "Oh, Kel, Roy. Doesn't look too bad from here. There was very little blood loss and the bullet is fragmented. Looks small…maybe a .22 caliber." Roy remembered the bullet the Ranger pulled from the tree. "It probably was a ricochet…if it was a direct hit, there would be a lot more damage." Early deduced. Brackett looked on as Roy walked to Johnny's side.

Roy thought for a moment that his Friend looked better than he had the last time he saw him. After all, Johnny wasn't even breathing on his own the last time he saw him. But, his pale complexion and constant shivering told Roy that he was not doing well at all. Roy took Johnny's hand his and thought that it felt like a hot coal. "Jeez, Johnny…" He muttered.

Hearing a familiar voice, Johnny tried to respond by opening his eyes. He tried desperately to focus and finally found the source of the voice. "Roy…" He whispered harshly through chattering teeth and the oxygen mask.

"Just rest, Junior. You're at Rampart and Early and Brackett are gonna fix you up like new." Roy encouraged. He held fast to Johnny's hand as if it were salvation for them both. Johnny affirmed Roy with a barely-perceptible nod and closed his eyes again.

A few minutes later, Roy was ushered out of the room so they could run more tests on Johnny. He glumly walked toward the elevator and pushed the button. When the doors opened, he saw a familiar face. Mr. Daniels, Greg's father, was standing in the elevator. Roy greeted the man as he stepped out. "Mr. Daniels, my name is Roy DeSoto." The man greeted Roy as if he knew him.

"I have heard a lot about you from my Son, Greg. You and Captain Gage are all he talked about for the five months he took those Paramedic classes." He explained. "I heard that Captain Gage was injured and I wondered how he was doing…"

Roy told the man what he knew about Johnny's condition and then remembered what Johnny had told him about Greg. "Uh…how's your son doing, Mr. Daniels?"

"We talked with Dr. Early yesterday and decided to turn off the life support…the respirator." Roy was crestfallen. He hated that he made the man relive the death of his son. But, he didn't seem to be grieving. In fact, Roy thought he looked…cheerful. "When we did, Greg started breathing on his own. This morning, he opened his eyes and was able to whisper a few words. We are so grateful and I couldn't wait to share the news with Captain Gage…but, now this has happened. I do hope he is going to be alright. Greg would like to see him." Roy smiled despite his fears regarding Johnny.

"That is great news Mr. Daniels. I know Johnny will be thrilled to hear that Greg is improving. Right now, I need to go see my family and make sure my daughter is doing alright."

"Oh, was she injured, too?" Mr. Daniels asked.

"No, she was with Johnny on a camping trip when he got hurt. She had to take care of him for a while before we got there, though. She will want to know how he's doing."

"Certainly, Captain DeSoto, please see to your family. And, I will join my wife in the cafeteria. I hope that we both get good news soon." He shook Roy's hand and was gone. Roy went to see if Jo and Chris had arrived and relieve Dixie, who was caring for Jenny.

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Greg Daniels' condition was upgraded to stable and he was making marked improvement by the hour. He was talking and remembered most of the ordeal that landed him in the ICU of Rampart. Though he was doing better, his parents and doctors agreed that he should not be told of his Captain's condition until more was known. His remaining crewmates, Marc and Doug, visited him and answered questions he had about the funerals for Jameson and Baker.

"Where's Cap?" Greg asked to those around him, and no one knew what to say.

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"We've got to operate, Roy." Early updated. "I'd like to get his temp down more, but we need to clear out that wound or the antibiotics will be of no use."

"When?" Roy asked.

"Now. We are prepping him. We just need your signature on these forms." Early had Roy sign as next-of-kin. "Okay, I will update you as soon as we're done."

"We? Is Brackett operating with you?" Roy queried.

"No. I asked a friend of mine to operate and I will be assisting. He specializes in spinal injury. He was here to consult on the Daniel's case. And, now, he's Johnny's best chance for a full recovery." Early nodded once the papers were signed. Roy put the pen down.

"Can I see 'im first?" Roy asked. Early shook his head.

"'M sorry, Roy, but time is not on our side here. We've got to get in there now." Early patted Roy on the back and walked away.

Roy sat down on the sofa and hoped that he would see Johnny again. "Greg made it, Johnny…you have to make it, too." He muttered aloud, to no one.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Rememories – Pt. 18

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Roy and Dixie were sitting across from each other drinking coffee in the doctor's lounge. JoAnne had taken the kids home while Roy awaited news about Johnny. The two friends shared stories of how Johnny had beaten the odds in the past. They remembered him getting buried in a mine shaft; nearly dying from a monkey virus; blown up in a building; hit by a car; and, other countless nicks, cuts, and scrapes. They both silently prayed that he would come out of this the way he had so many times before. "Not very good rememories." Roy said.

"Re…what…eries?" Dixie asked.

"It's one of my daughter's made-up words. No matter how many times we correct her, she continues to use it. I think she is mixing 'remember' with 'memories' and she says 'rememories.'" Roy explained. "Her whole thought behind this camping trip with Johnny was to help him make new memories—rememories—to help him forget what happened with Jameson, Baker and Daniels."

"Well, she sounds like a very bright young woman to me, Roy. Uh…" Dixie hunted for the word.

"Rememories." Roy coached with a chuckle.

"Ah, yes…rememories are important. And, Johnny has a lot of great ones with Jenny, and your whole family, Roy. He will be fine, I just know it." Dixie had a soft place in her heart for Johnny and Roy and she wore it on her sleeve.

Dr. Early opened the door to the lounge just about then. Both occupants turned his way. They waited for a sign, a word, or a gesture that would tell them what they wanted to know. And, then, Early smiled.

"He's done it again. Johnny's beaten the odds." He laughed out. "His temp is still a bit high, but the wound is clear and there is no permanent damage to the spine. There is still some swelling that accounts for the paralysis. But, once the swelling goes down, he will regain full feeling and movement in his legs."

Roy didn't realize he was holding his breath until he finally let it out. Dixie smiled and allowed tears to finally flow. "Hey, this is GOOD news, you two. Johnny is going to be fine." Early repeated. Roy got up and walked over to where the doctor was standing.

"Thanks, Doc. When can I see 'im?" Roy beseeched.

"He's in recovery now. We will place him in a room in an hour or so. After that, he can have a few visitors." The doctor poured a cup of coffee and sat in the seat Roy vacated.

"I need to call Jo and the kids. And, the Chief. And, Mike and Marco…I need to make some calls." Roy summed.

"Why don't you use Kel's office, Roy. He is on rounds and won't be back for a while." Dixie suggested. Roy took his leave and Dixie turned her attention to Early.

"Well, Joe…does an old ER nurse have any say in roommate assignments in this hospital?" Dixie quipped. Early nearly choked on his coffee as he laughed.

"Uh…don't know who the 'old ER nurse' is, Dix…but, there's not much that goes on in this establishment that you are not in some control of." The doctor answered flirtatiously. Dixie winked at him as she began to formulate her plan.

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It was after visiting hours when Johnny finally got settled into a room. Roy was allowed to go see him, but all other visitors would have to wait until the following day. As he opened the door, Johnny woke. "Sorry, Junior. Didn't mean to wake you up." Roy apologized.

"S'okay. What time is it?" Johnny asked. Roy answered and Johnny responded with a yawn.

"It's been a hell of a long day, Johnny. How are you feeling?"

Johnny moved his arms to push himself upright and felt his muscles ache. It wasn't a searing pain, but enough to remind him of dragging himself with his arms the night before. "Hell of a long night, too." Johnny agreed rubbing his biceps to sooth away the ache.

"You wanna fill me in? I know what Jenny told me, but there were some missing pieces obviously."

Johnny cringed at the mention of Jenny. "She okay, Roy? I mean, I didn't want to scare her."

"She'll be fine now that she knows you're okay, Partner." Roy declared.

"I went to get water for my morning coffee before hitting the rack when I heard something moving. I called out and then…I fell. When I came to, I couldn't feel anything below my waist. I thought it was because of the cold…the water…but, when I tried to move them…well…they didn't move. I dragged myself back to the camp." Roy interrupted.

"Why didn't you call for Jen?" The older man asked.

"I didn't want to scare her, Roy. I thought that I could get back to the camp and clean up a little before waking her up. But, it didn't go as I planned. I passed out a couple times and…" Johnny paused, remembering. "The wolf…" He barely whispered.

"What…what wolf?" Roy implored. Johnny ran the story over in his mind and realized how absurd it sounded and decided against sharing the information.

"Nothing…I just thought I saw a wolf is all. Anyway, Jen woke up and called for me…and, you probably know the rest." Johnny sighed and realized that he was pinching his leg just to be sure he could really feel it. The numbness and tingling was setting in as the swelling continued to decrease around the bullet wound. "'M sorry, Roy…for everything."

"Nothin' to be sorry for. My kids love you, Johnny…we all do. There's nothing we wouldn't do for you, and I'm just glad Jen was there to help when you needed it. She was hoping for better 'rememories', but she is just glad you are okay." Roy jibed.

Johnny smiled, knowingly. "Not bad rememories, Roy…not bad at all." He remembered the 'talk' he had with Chet the wolf and Jenny singing to him. "I'll be alright." He whispered.

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Dixie had forbidden Roy to tell Johnny about Greg Daniels' miraculous steps toward recovery. She had a much more exciting and surprising way to inform him. The next morning, as his breakfast dishes were being cleared away, Johnny got his first visitor of the day. Dixie McCall walked into the room wearing a fashionable pantsuit and a pretty scarf that Johnny had actually given to her for a birthday a few years prior. She was off duty, but wanted to be there for what was about to happen since she had arranged it all.

"Hey, Handsome. How are you feeling today?" She asked with a big smile across her face.

"Hey, Dix. I'm doin' okay…doin' okay. Can't wait to get outta here, though. I need to get back to my Station. Been away too long." He admitted. He looked up as the door opened again and Dr.'s Brackett and Early walked in with Chief Stanley right behind. His smile faded, thinking something was terribly wrong for all these people to be visiting him.

"What's wrong?" He asked hesitantly.

"Why, John Gage, nothing's wrong. Everything is actually quite good and that's why we are all here." Dixie countered. Her cheer put him at ease. The men all surrounded Johnny's bed and engaged in pleasantries. They all awaited the 'surprise'.

Once again the door swung open and Johnny saw that a gurney was being brought into the room. He was getting a roommate. It was all the same to him, because he did not plan to stick around very long anyway. His visitors all watched for his reaction. They were a bit disgruntled when Johnny barely paid any attention the patient being brought into the room. After a moment, Johnny heard the words.

"Hey, Cap. Funny meeting you here."

Johnny's face lost all color for a moment. Brackett stood by to watch for signs of shock. He didn't like this idea, but thought it would indeed help both men in the recovery process. Brackett put a hand on Johnny's shoulder as he finally realized who was joining him.

He sat up taller in his bed and shouted, "Greg! What the hell? I thought…you're okay?" Johnny blurted out. Johnny finally saw the halo and other traction instruments and realized that, though alive, Greg was not 'okay.'

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Rememories – Pt. 19

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Johnny watched as they carefully placed Greg in his bed and adjusted the screws and vest connected to the halo traction unit. He winced a little as he saw Greg try to get comfortable. Once Greg was settled, the others said their "goodbyes" and left the two men alone. There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence. It was finally broken by Johnny.

"Greg, I…I thought…" He stuttered. Greg helped his Captain along.

"You thought I was dead, huh?" He asked Johnny. Johnny swallowed hard and nodded. "I didn't think you of all people would give up on me, Cap. You told me you were gonna get me outta there alive and you did. You saved my life." Greg announced.

Johnny felt small. He had believed Greg dead…or, possibly better-off dead. He searched for the words. "I…I'm glad you made it, Greg. Your Dad told me you were strong…and, you would fight. I shoulda known that he was right. How is everything…you gonna walk again or what?" Johnny spat out the question before he knew what he was saying.

"I don't know, Cap. But, I'm sure gonna try. The surgeon said my spinal cord was not severed, but it is pretty damaged. He fused the vertebrae—C-2 and C-3—so, I won't ever be able to go back to what I was doing." A hint of sadness washed over him.

"We'll miss you, Greg. You are one helluva Paramedic." Johnny admitted. Greg couldn't turn his head and Johnny was glad as there were tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He quickly brushed them away.

"They told me what happened to you, Cap. You gonna be alright?" Greg asked. Johnny nodded his answer before he remembered that Greg could not see him.

"Yeah, I'll be alright. I should get outta here in a day or two…back to work by next week, hopefully." Johnny shared. Just then, the door opened and Mr. Daniels, Greg's father, joined them.

"Dad!" Greg called. "Where's Mom?" He followed. Mr. Daniels walked to his son's side and put a hand on his shoulder.

"She's getting everything sorted out for you to come home…she wants you to stay with us after you go to that rehab center." He saw the look in Greg's eyes. "Just till you finish your degree, Son. Then you can do whatever you want after that, okay." He assured.

Greg sighed and then relented. "Okay, Dad. Uh…Cap, did you hear? I'm going back to school to get my degree. Decided when I woke up that I want to finish my degree so I can counsel Firemen and other first responders." He smiled at his Dad who looked as proud as any man could.

"That sounds great, Greg…maybe I could be your first patient." Johnny quipped. He didn't much like counselors or therapists. "It will be good to have you in the Department, even if you're not at my station." The men continued to talk into the afternoon about Greg's miracle recovery, Johnny's shooting, and Greg's plans for the future. Greg fell asleep and his Father moved to Johnny's bedside.

"Thank you, Captain…uh…Johnny, for everything you've done for my Son." He reached his hand out for Johnny to shake. Johnny accepted and added.

"Mr. Daniels, you were right, your son is a fighter. As his Captain, it is my honor to know him and work alongside him. And, it will be my pleasure to work with Greg in the future as he helps our fellow Firemen deal with stress and tragedy that befalls them." Johnny yawned as he was getting tired, too. But, he continued. "I once told someone a quote I heard a few years ago…_'Knowing someone else is drowning doesn't make the salt water taste any sweeter_.' Don't know who said it orginally, but, basically, what I think it means is that just because someone else has been where you are doesn't mean they can make you feel better about it. But, Greg…he's been near death, he's dealing with a lot of trials, but his attitude is good. That will serve him well as he meets other Firemen. They will trust him because he DOES know what they are going through…he understands us in a way that no one else ever could. And, that means a lot." Johnny's eyelids were heavy. Mr. Daniels thanked Johnny again, checked once more on his son, and then left the room.

Johnny slipped down the bed and laid his head on the pillow. He looked up at the ceiling…but, his gaze went "beyond." He smiled slightly as he began to fade off into sleep and said, "Thank you, Lord…for everything." He sighed and then, smiling, he added, "And, thank you, too, Chet."

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The Ranger came to see Johnny at his home. "Mr. Gage?" He said as he stepped out of the vehicle.

Johnny had walked to the driveway when he heard the approaching vehicle. "Yes, Sir. How can I help you?"

"You probly don't remember me, but I was there when they found you after you got shot out there." The Ranger pointed into the woods behind Johnny's home. Johnny nodded.

"Yeah, Roy said you were there. What brings you out here now?" Johnny asked.

"Well, I just came from Mr. Bailey's place and he asked me to stop and let you know what I told him." The Ranger began. "We found out who has been shooting things up 'round these parts and I think we found who shot you, too."

Johnny raised his eyebrows. He had been so intent in his recovery and visiting Greg, he had forgotten about the vandals on his and Bailey's property. "Who was it?"

"Just some teenagers up from the city. One of the kids got a rifle for his birthday a few months back and decided to come out here to target shoot and it escalated to all the damage we've been seeing all over the past few weeks." The Ranger huffed. "Animals, fences, barns, windows…there was nothing these kids didn't shoot at…'cept people. They deny shooting you, Mr. Gage."

Johnny looked around at his property. The barn, the horses, Abby walked by his side…he was content. "I don't think they DID shoot at me, Ranger. Dr. Early said it was probly a ricochet…I think I may have scared 'em when I called out is all…it was an accident, I'm sure." Johnny deduced.

The Ranger was dumfounded. "Are you tellin' me you're not gonna press charges?"

Johnny shook his head. "Not for what happened to me…but, they need to be held responsible for the other damages…they will probly just get probation, but they need to learn a lesson. Guns are definitely not toys!" Johnny asserted.

"You are right about that. And, your neighbor, Mr. Bailey knew you would say what you just did. He's gonna press charges for the damage to his fence and barn and the trespassing…but, he told me you wouldn't hold them responsible for your injuries. I didn't believe 'im, till now." The Ranger was still reeling from the shock.

"Ranger…sometimes people get hurt, or even die, and there is nothing we can do about it. We make our decisions, pray for the best and deal with the rest. If I have learned anything over the past few weeks…is that the guilt a man has inside himself can be far more a punishment than anyone else could dish out." Johnny took a deep breath and felt the weight on his shoulders lifting. He was ready to return to work; ready to face what came next.

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Johnny returned to Station 99 three weeks after the incident that took the lives of two of his men. He settled into the new "normal" and welcomed two new linemen and a new Paramedic to his ranks. As they sat around the table after dinner his first night back, the men all relaxed into a companionable silence and Johnny excused himself to his office. He went inside, closed the door, and sat in the chair at his desk. It had been a little over one year since he became Captain John Gage and in that year, he faced moments that he hoped he would never have to again. He pulled a book from his drawer and opened it to a dog-eared page. He read aloud…

"'**Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.**'**" Psalm 91:14-16**

He pushed the Bible to the top of his desk as he pulled out two pieces of paper. He began to write two letters that were long overdue…

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Jameson…_to the parents of his lineman who'd lost his life nearly a month before, Steve Jameson_._

And…

_Dear Mrs. Baker…_to Larry Baker's mother, the other lineman who died_._

He wrote how proud he was of their sons and how he enjoyed serving with them. He offered his condolences and to help in any way necessary. He included his contact information and prepared the letters for mailing. He sighed deeply and leaned back in his chair. He prayed aloud…

"Lord, please let these be the last letters of this type I ever need to write. And, if that is not to be, help me to find the words and the courage to do it again when it becomes necessary. Finally, Lord, thank you for each man on this crew and for their skills and ability. I pray for each man's safety and that you give me the wisdom to lead them when the call for help comes. Amen."

The End (okay, okay...there is an Epilogue to follow!)


	20. Epilogue

Title: Rememories – Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

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Roy had a gathering at his home and the former A-Shift Crew of Station 51, barring Chet Kelly, were all present. Children threw Frisbees and swam in the pool; men shared stories of days gone by; and, the wives and girlfriends made sure everyone had enough to eat. It wasn't long before the men began talking about Johnny and Jenny's camping trip a month earlier.

"How is your back doing, Johnny?" Marco asked. "And, you hit your head when you fell, right?" Marco caught up.

"With that hard head of his, I doubt there was any damage." Mike quipped. Johnny smiled at the remembrance.

"That's what Chet said." Johnny said, without thinking. All the others started at him as if they had seen a ghost. He realized quickly what he had said. "Uh…I mean…well, that night I had a dream and Chet was in it. He said that I had a hard head is all." He covered. He had not told anyone about the wolf he saw that night who claimed to possess Chet's spirit.

The others nodded as if they too had dreams with Chet playing a role. "So, is Jenny doin' alright, too, Roy?" Chief Stanley asked. Roy turned to look at his daughter playing in the yard and Johnny did, too.

"She's alright. But, she is still on the same mission as she was that night." Roy smiled, moving his gaze to Johnny. The men's eyes met and they shared a knowing smile. The others felt left out of a secret.

"What gives? What's this 'mission', guys?" Marco asked.

"Helping Johnny make some new…'rememories'." Roy laughed.

"New what?" Marco gaped?

"Rememories." Johnny and Roy said in unison. Roy explained. "That is the word Jenny uses for memories…she gets it mixed up with remember…so, rememories." All the men snickered at the explanation. "Jenny!" Roy called. His daughter came running over to his side. "I was just telling the guys why you and Johnny went on that camping trip…you wanna tell 'em, too?" He nudged her side to initiate the story.

"I wanted to help Uncle Johnny make some new memories so he would forget the bad things that happened that hurt him and his men." Roy and Johnny looked at Jenny. The others looked at Roy and Johnny.

"Uh, Honey, tell me again what you were trying to do?" Roy prompted. Johnny leaned forward in his chair.

"Make…new…memories…Daddy." Jenny bellowed. "Can I go back and play now?" Roy was dumbfounded and looked at Johnny whose mouth was gaping.

"Rememories, huh?" Mike asked.

"No, really…that was the word she was using…rememories…we tried to correct it all the time, but she kept using that word." Roy sputtered out. He looked down at his daughter. "Honey, tell these guys that you were saying 'rememories' all this time."

"Daddy, I'm a big girl now…I don't say 'baby words' anymore." Jenny proudly announced and ran off to play. The men all stared at her as she joined the other children.

"Well, I guess she told you, Roy." Mike commented. Roy smiled.

"Well…she really was saying 'rememories'…" He explained again.

"No matter, Roy…memories or rememories…any time I spend with your family is on the 'good' side of it all." Johnny smiled. All the men agreed and continued talking until late into the night.

E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!

Captain John Gage had just finished his fifth report of the day when he heard a knock on his door. It was rarely closed, but he had been catching up with paperwork and wanted some privacy. He walked over to the door and opened it. His gaze began at eye level, but ventured down. He smiled brightly when he saw Greg Daniels.

"Greg, what the hell? What's going on?" Johnny exclaimed. He had been visiting Greg on a weekly basis since he was discharged to rehab and monitored his progress. Greg was making great strides and, though his legs were still paralyzed, he had use of his arms and had some slight feeling in his right leg. The prognosis was good.

"I am getting ready to graduate, Cap. And, I wanted to see if you would come…and, maybe some of the guys, too." Greg said as he wheeled into Johnny's office. Johnny moved a chair and then took his seat.

"Hell yes, I will. Wild horses couldn't keep me from it." Johnny said. A touch of sadness crossed his face as he remembered the other two men he lost the day Greg got injured.

"How are you doin', Cap?" Greg asked, noticing the sudden gloom.

"Hey, you're not a counselor yet." Johnny teased, but followed with an answer. "It's hard to believe it's been six months, Greg. We still miss you guys…you, Jameson and Baker…every day. I just wish everyone could have a happy ending, I guess." Greg nodded his understanding.

"Well, Cap, I guess that's probly what makes you as good as you are. You care deeply for others and you take their pain and burden upon yourself. You need broad shoulders to do all that…and, I think you fit the bill." Greg complimented as he counseled. Johnny smiled.

"So, what's next…after graduation?" Johnny diverted.

"Well, I found an apartment that has been modified for someone in one of these." He pointed to his wheelchair. "Wide doors, low counters and such. And, that pup you gave me should finish his training as a 'helper pet' soon. I will be able to be more independent than I have the past few months living with my parents. I'm even learning how to drive with hand controls, Cap." Greg shared. Johnny sat wide-eyed. He had no idea the advancements that were being made for those with disabilities and commented on it.

"Well, Cap…with all the vets who came back from VietNam with different disabilities, there are a lot of companies working on making their lives easier and it just benefits the rest of us living with disabilities, too."

"Well, you may not have been to war, but you have certainly won a battle, Greg. I'm proud of you…proud to know you…proud to have been your Captain." Johnny shared.

"And, I am proud to have served with you, too." The two men allowed silence to reign as their memories drifted back to that fateful day.

"_I won't let you die, man." _Was the promise from a Captain to his Crewman. And, it was a promise that was kept.

Greg noticed the book open on Johnny's desk and probed his former Captain. "You read the Bible, Cap?"

Johnny blushed, forgetting that he had left the book open. "Uh…yeah…I forgot to put it away earlier." He closed the book and started to put it in his desk drawer again. "I have been reading some passages each shift since I got back. It gives me some peace, I guess."

Greg stopped the drawer from closing and took the Bible from Johnny's hand. He opened quickly to a passage and began reading…

"**This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16**

Greg continued. "That is the verse I read to my mother when I told her I was joining the Fire Department. She couldn't fight with God's word." He smiled. "Didn't know you were a religious man, Cap." Greg questioned.

Johnny bristled. He didn't like the connotation. "Not particularly 'religious'…more of a relationship with something outside myself. My mother was a Christian…converted my Dad…and, took me to church every week till she died. I guess I fall back on that when things get…shaky."

"Nothin' to be ashamed of, Cap. We all need to know that there is Someone watchin' out for us…when we are watchin' out for everyone else, huh?" Greg reasoned. Johnny smiled his agreement and regarded the younger man for a moment. He paused as he also remembered the vision he had of the wolf the night he was shot.

"Yeah…I certainly have a few 'someone's' watchin' out for me." Johnny smiled. Greg tilted his head in an unspoken question as Johnny shared. "I grew up with a good mix of Christianity and American Indian tradition…makes for an interesting mix." The Captain explained.

"Mix…how?" Greg asked.

"Well…my Mom and Dad shared as much about Native American culture as they did the Bible. So, I have a deep understanding of both…" Johnny sighed. "The night I was shot, I remember telling Jenny that Indians believe that the souls of departed loved ones could inhabit wolves. That night, I had a dream…or vision…or whatever…that an old Friend of mine who died visited me…as a wolf." He smiled uncomfortably. Johnny was not used to sharing personal information with others—he had not even shared this with Roy.

"That's no so strange, Cap. You had a head injury, right? And, a fever? It could have been a dream or a hallucination. Or, it could have been a way for God to get you to do the right thing. He can do pretty much whatever He wants…whenever He wants, you know?" Greg reasoned. Johnny smiled widely and offered...

"You're gonna be great as a Department counselor, Greg. Because you just passed the biggest test." Johnny said.

Greg's brow furrowed questioningly. "What test?"

"Well, you just got me to spill my guts, and that's no easy feat." Johnny laughed. Greg laughed and they sat basking in the warmth of a camaraderie of brotherhood and friendship. They had both been through the dark trenches of hell, and found the Light again.

The End


End file.
